After the Internship: A Novella (The Intern #4) by Brooke Cumberland Page A
Authors: Brooke Cumberland
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kill me, but it feels like I’m at war. I love Bentley and want nothing more than to share my life with him, but it’s starting to haunt me in a way I can’t control anymore. I don’t know how to move on from something I can’t change.
“ Ceci, please…talk to me.” I hear his pleas from outside the door. God, I’m so embarrassed. I feel sick. I don’t know how to explain to him what I feel—or rather see. This is such a disaster.
“ I just need a moment,” I say, hoping he can understand that I need to figure out my own feelings before I can even try to explain them to him.
“ All right…” I hear the worry in his voice. “I’ll be right here. I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart.” He voice is sweet, tender. He’s not demanding or impatient, but rather, I hear the heartbreak in his tone.
I take a few moments to compose myself, putting my clothes back on before facing him. I hardly know what to say, but I know I owe him something. I ’ve never run out on him before like that.
I inhale . Then I take a deep breath before I exhale slowly. I grip the door handle and slowly open it. Bentley’s standing against the wall, looking defeated and worried. As soon as he sees me, he pushes himself off and closes the gap between us.
“ Are you okay? God, I…I’m sorry. Just tell me what happened, and I can fix it.” His words are rushed, eager to do whatever it takes to make me feel better.
“ Bentley, stop,” I tell him before he starts freaking out. “It’s nothing you did. And it’s nothing you can fix.”
“ I don’t understand.” His face drops worried I’m about to give him bad news.
I turn around and walk to the bed, motioning for him to follow me. I sit down and wait for him to sit next to me, knowing I need to just spill it.
“I had a dream a couple of weeks ago…” I pause, needing to take a deep breath before continuing. “At first, it was you and me, and the next it was you and Hannah. I woke up, gasping for air and sweating. I ended up throwing up twice at the images alone, and then they kind of started haunting me randomly.” I feel his body tense as I talk about Hannah. “Tonight, they came back. It was out of nowhere. One minute it was just you and I on the table, and the next I was above watching you with Hannah…” I bow my head, feeling embarrassed. “I started to feel sick the second the images came to mind and that’s when I freaked out. It was the only way to stop them,” I explain.
“ Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
I shrug. “Because it was only a dream. I felt better when you arrived home and things were fine. I mean, we’ve been intimate since then, so there was really no reason to say anything. I knew you were already stressing over her, and I didn’t want to add to it.”
He cups my face, tilting my chin up toward him. “You should always tell me these kinds of things, even if you think I’m too stressed. I want to be able to help.”
“ But that’s just it—” My voice gets louder. “You can’t help me. You can’t do anything about it. I know she means nothing to you, yet my mind keeps torturing me. I just…I just need to wait it out. It’ll go away, eventually.”
“ This is all my fault. Fuck…I shouldn’t have freaked out over the interview. Had I just let it go, you wouldn’t be stressing over it as much.”
“ If you weren’t bothered by it, I’d probably be upset about that, too. It would’ve made me think you missed her or something, although deep inside I know that’s not true.”
“ That’s how I felt with the Jason pictures,” he confesses. “You didn’t seem bothered by it.”
I shrug again. I hadn ’t even thought of it like that. I was upset over the pictures, because they upset Bentley, but in reality, they meant nothing. Those pictures captured two friends having coffee and an innocent conversation. However, now that he brings it up, I can see his side of it.
“ I’m sorry,” I apologize
“ Ceci, please…talk to me.” I hear his pleas from outside the door. God, I’m so embarrassed. I feel sick. I don’t know how to explain to him what I feel—or rather see. This is such a disaster.
“ I just need a moment,” I say, hoping he can understand that I need to figure out my own feelings before I can even try to explain them to him.
“ All right…” I hear the worry in his voice. “I’ll be right here. I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart.” He voice is sweet, tender. He’s not demanding or impatient, but rather, I hear the heartbreak in his tone.
I take a few moments to compose myself, putting my clothes back on before facing him. I hardly know what to say, but I know I owe him something. I ’ve never run out on him before like that.
I inhale . Then I take a deep breath before I exhale slowly. I grip the door handle and slowly open it. Bentley’s standing against the wall, looking defeated and worried. As soon as he sees me, he pushes himself off and closes the gap between us.
“ Are you okay? God, I…I’m sorry. Just tell me what happened, and I can fix it.” His words are rushed, eager to do whatever it takes to make me feel better.
“ Bentley, stop,” I tell him before he starts freaking out. “It’s nothing you did. And it’s nothing you can fix.”
“ I don’t understand.” His face drops worried I’m about to give him bad news.
I turn around and walk to the bed, motioning for him to follow me. I sit down and wait for him to sit next to me, knowing I need to just spill it.
“I had a dream a couple of weeks ago…” I pause, needing to take a deep breath before continuing. “At first, it was you and me, and the next it was you and Hannah. I woke up, gasping for air and sweating. I ended up throwing up twice at the images alone, and then they kind of started haunting me randomly.” I feel his body tense as I talk about Hannah. “Tonight, they came back. It was out of nowhere. One minute it was just you and I on the table, and the next I was above watching you with Hannah…” I bow my head, feeling embarrassed. “I started to feel sick the second the images came to mind and that’s when I freaked out. It was the only way to stop them,” I explain.
“ Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
I shrug. “Because it was only a dream. I felt better when you arrived home and things were fine. I mean, we’ve been intimate since then, so there was really no reason to say anything. I knew you were already stressing over her, and I didn’t want to add to it.”
He cups my face, tilting my chin up toward him. “You should always tell me these kinds of things, even if you think I’m too stressed. I want to be able to help.”
“ But that’s just it—” My voice gets louder. “You can’t help me. You can’t do anything about it. I know she means nothing to you, yet my mind keeps torturing me. I just…I just need to wait it out. It’ll go away, eventually.”
“ This is all my fault. Fuck…I shouldn’t have freaked out over the interview. Had I just let it go, you wouldn’t be stressing over it as much.”
“ If you weren’t bothered by it, I’d probably be upset about that, too. It would’ve made me think you missed her or something, although deep inside I know that’s not true.”
“ That’s how I felt with the Jason pictures,” he confesses. “You didn’t seem bothered by it.”
I shrug again. I hadn ’t even thought of it like that. I was upset over the pictures, because they upset Bentley, but in reality, they meant nothing. Those pictures captured two friends having coffee and an innocent conversation. However, now that he brings it up, I can see his side of it.
“ I’m sorry,” I apologize
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