Addict Nation by Sandra Mohr Jane Velez-Mitchell Page A

standing on a street corner and each is holding a BlackBerry. Each is looking down and hitting SEND on an e-mail. They’re both doing the exact same thing. However, one of them is engaging in addictive behavior and the other is not. The difference is the emotionally sober person has a healthy motive for his actions, while the addict is using the device as a form of escape. Here are some very common, unhealthy reasons people will whip out their BlackBerry or other smartphone and start fiddling:
    out of self-importance
    to flash a status symbol
    to escape boredom, depression, or other unpleasant feelings
    to send a passive-aggressive signal that you’re not interested in what’s going on around you or the people you’re with
    to get a hit or buzz from the suspense of opening up an e-mail or text that’s just come in
    to be a people pleaser as you worry that you’ve got to respond instantly or others won’t like you
    to procrastinate, pushing off a more important task or project
    to fill time
    to appear busy
    to avoid self-reflection
    to avoid being present in the moment
    out of fear of intimacy
    to feel connected, thereby quashing feelings of alienation
    to combat loneliness
    to avoid looking like you are alone
    to imply that you are popular
    I once did a pitch for a TV show to an arrogant, young network executive who looked down at his BlackBerry and scrolled through his e-mails the entire time I was talking. I wanted to jump over the table and smack him. He was clearly signaling to me that he had little to no interest in what I had to say and that I was wasting his time. I would have preferred him to say that flat out. Or . . . perhaps he was just a desperate CrackBerry addict hitting bottom.
    CrackBerry Inventory
    If you’re worried that your texting, e-mailing, or posting has become out of control, a twelve-step inventory is always a great way to get some perspective on your behavior. Try counting how many times you check your e-mail and text messages and Facebook on a given day. (Hey, they should have an “app” for that!) Then ask yourself what percentage of those spot checks were really necessary? If you’re neurotically checking work e-mails after hours, on weekends, and during vacations, you may be cross-addicted, hooked on the Internet and work. That’s cyberworkaholism. If so, you’re not alone. Most smartphone owners will admit to checking their business emails on weekends and on vacation. In fact, many of us become panicked if we accidentally leave our cell phones at home, making it impossible to relax.
    Cyberworkaholism is a tricky blended addiction because it’s often rewarded with career success, raises, promotions, and other perks, so on the surface, it doesn’t seem like a problem. But, like all addiction, it will ultimately turn self-destructive. Handheld devices were supposed to untether us from our desks and give us the freedom to roam. But when the usage becomes compulsive, it can feel like you are dragging your entire office with you wherever you go. Given that a BlackBerry can store 28,000 pages of information, 20 that’s not such a wild exaggeration. Surveys have shown widespread resentment by spouses of smartphone owners who complain that they, and their children, are often competing with the device for the user’s attention.
    In a world where we realistically cannot throw our smartphones out the window, it really becomes about managing the gray areas by setting boundaries. For example, on weekends, I try to rely on my personal BlackBerry, figuring if there’s a crisis at work, they’d know to call me on my personal phone. I also have learned to put my BlackBerrys on silent when I go into a twelve-step meeting or a solemn situation such as a funeral. Frankly, I learned that the hard way. It seems nobody wants to hear my “I Kissed a Girl” ringtone erupt as they’re reciting the eulogy.
    Multitasking . . . Really?
    Here’s the really big question. Is all this instant communication