Act like a lady, think like a man by Steve Harvey Page B

to give me one more chance, took her bags, and immediately found my phone and snapped it in half. I’d lost her once—this beautiful, smart, sweet woman—and no other woman could be as loving and dedicated to me, to us, or to my children. I realized right then and there, in that hallway, that I wanted no other.
    In other words, I became the man she needed me to be because she had sense enough to have requirements—standards that she needed in her relationship in order to make the relationship work for her. She knew she wanted a monogamous relationship—a partnership with a man who wanted to be a dedicated husband and father. She also knew this man had to be faithful, love God, and be willing to do what it took to keep this family together. On a smaller scale, she also made clear that she expected to be treated like a lady at every turn—I’m talking opening car doors for her, pulling out her seat when she’s ready to sit at the table, coming correct on anniversary, Mother’s Day, and birthday gifts, keeping the foul talk to a minimum. These requirements are important to her because they govern how she will be treated; they are important to me, too, because they lay out a virtual map of what all I need to do to make sure she gets what she needs and wants. After all, it’s universal knowledge that when mama is happy, everybody is happy. And it is my sole mission in life to make sure Marjorie is happy.
    Men can’t accomplish this mission for you without your help; we can’t possibly begin to fathom what it is you women need and want because your needs and wants change from woman to woman like the wind does from city to city. Men are very simple, logical people; if you tell us what you like and what you don’t like, we’ll do anything we can to make sure we live up to your expectations, particularly if we’re interested in forging a relationship with you. (But beware of telling a man everything you like when you first meet; I’ll tell you why later in the chapter.)
    But really, we’re not programmed to figure it out. It really makes us quite happy when you lay out your requirements for us. And we need you to do it up front, so we can decide if we’re up for the challenge—not two weeks into the relationship, not two months after we’ve had sex, not two years after we’ve said
    “I do” in front of the preacher and our respective families and friends. Heck, we’ll take them while you’re standing there at the bar, sipping on the peach martini we just bought you, so long as you’re laying them out. Because now you’ve given us a road map for how to conduct ourselves, especially if we’re truly interested in a relationship with you.
    Understand that this chapter is not a license for you to start running down your list of “I can’ts” and “I won’ts” and “you better not nevahs” as soon as a gentleman approaches you. We do like some kind of decorum. You’ve got to finesse the situation—tell a man what you require without making it feel like you’re ticking off a list of demands. It really is all in the deliv-ery; if you tell him your requirements in the midst of conversation, and they sound attainable, and you shape your standards in soft language, it’ll be easier for him to understand, and, more important, act on them. Think about how crazy he’s going to look at you if, finger wagging, you just come out your face and say, “I will not tolerate a man who does not understand my role as a mother—if you got a problem with my kids and the rest of my family, you got a problem with me!” It’ll be the equivalent of the needle scratching all the way across the record; he’s going to think, at best, that you’re angry—at worst, you’re crazy, and perhaps your family is, too. But imagine how he’ll feel if you flip the script and say something pleasant like, “Oh, you know, I have kids and they’re number one in my life because my parents raised me to understand the importance of