get batshit bitches. We got Red’s back all the way.”
Now, as they moved deeper into the forest, Nina snaked a hand upward and captured one of the bluebirds who’d spun around her head since they’d begun this trek and brought him down to eye level. She’d been out of sorts all morning long and picking up speed with each step they took.
The bluebird continued to chirp happily, his head bobbing just above her fingers. “Dude, cut it the hell out. I can’t take it anymore, man. I haven’t slept in two days, and this flippy-flappy, yippy-skippy song you winged anomalies keep chirping is old. It ends now. Your time to come in for a landing has arrived. So here’s the skinny. Shut those damn beaks and you can rest those feathers by riding on my boy Carl’s back the rest of the way to the castle. Keep it up, despite the fact that I love animals more than I love people, and I roast your little blue asses for dinner, tiny buddy. Capisce ?”
She set him on Carl’s back and, ironically, the others followed suit, lining up along the blanket covering his spine, their puffed-up chests swelling further.
Toni tweaked the edge of one of Nina’s wings, hoping to turn her bad mood around. “Did I tell you how nice you are today? You sure have purty wings. I’m sick with jealousy.”
“Did I tell if you say one more thing I’m gonna snatch your tongue from your face?”
“Oooo, did someone have a bad night?” Toni teased with a grin, rubbing Carl’s antler as they walked.
“Someone is a fucking vampire who should be sleeping right now, not taking the diva king his shoes while some power-trippin’ queen chases you. Someone hasn’t slept or fed for two damn days. Someone’s about to flip a nut if all the other someones don’t shut it.”
“Fed?” What an odd word to use for food.
“Yeah, fed.”
She hadn’t noticed until Nina mentioned it, but the vampire hadn’t shared in their meal of winterberries or roasted chestnuts—nor had she drunk a drop of water. But the word “fed” in relation to eating a meal was a rather strange choice. “Why haven’t you, um, eaten…or fed. I mean, why didn’t you have some berries with us last night? We had plenty. I would have shared, too.”
“Because Crustypants can’t eat food anymore,” Marty teased, yanking the length of Nina’s dirty yellow skirt.
Toni fought an astonished gasp as they climbed yet another hill. “Then what do you eat to live?”
“I don’t live, numbnuts. I’m dead, remember?”
Then something registered. Maybe it was a fact from a movie or a TV show or whatever, but it would be another of her worst fears realized since she’d first learned Nina was a vampire. But no. She didn’t really drink…Did she?
Toni stopped for a moment, putting her hand on Nina’s arm. “So then you really eat—”
“Blood. More specifically, I drink blood, and I’m gonna need some soon. Any particular spot on your neck you want me to tap first?” Nina lifted her cracked sunglasses and glared down at Toni.
Yep. Worst fear realized. But she was determined to take this new information in stride, too, right along with everything else. “So how do we get you blood?”
Her face changed again, darkening with worry. “I don’t know. I don’t do human or animal blood. We drink this synthetic shit my husband’s clan provides. One taste of the wrong blood and it could fuck everything up.”
“So you’re an eco-conscious vampire?”
“No. I’m one who doesn’t want to turn into a raving lunatic and commit mass homicide. Real blood does weird shit to a vampire. It can make you lust for the genuine article all the time, and that’s how you lose control and start taking bitches out—or innocents, as we call them. My clan is determined to live with humans—which is a good thing for you. Now quit yakking and go make nice with Flawless. He’s all pouty after your argument last night.”
Toni looked down at the ground, her next words not a
Now, as they moved deeper into the forest, Nina snaked a hand upward and captured one of the bluebirds who’d spun around her head since they’d begun this trek and brought him down to eye level. She’d been out of sorts all morning long and picking up speed with each step they took.
The bluebird continued to chirp happily, his head bobbing just above her fingers. “Dude, cut it the hell out. I can’t take it anymore, man. I haven’t slept in two days, and this flippy-flappy, yippy-skippy song you winged anomalies keep chirping is old. It ends now. Your time to come in for a landing has arrived. So here’s the skinny. Shut those damn beaks and you can rest those feathers by riding on my boy Carl’s back the rest of the way to the castle. Keep it up, despite the fact that I love animals more than I love people, and I roast your little blue asses for dinner, tiny buddy. Capisce ?”
She set him on Carl’s back and, ironically, the others followed suit, lining up along the blanket covering his spine, their puffed-up chests swelling further.
Toni tweaked the edge of one of Nina’s wings, hoping to turn her bad mood around. “Did I tell you how nice you are today? You sure have purty wings. I’m sick with jealousy.”
“Did I tell if you say one more thing I’m gonna snatch your tongue from your face?”
“Oooo, did someone have a bad night?” Toni teased with a grin, rubbing Carl’s antler as they walked.
“Someone is a fucking vampire who should be sleeping right now, not taking the diva king his shoes while some power-trippin’ queen chases you. Someone hasn’t slept or fed for two damn days. Someone’s about to flip a nut if all the other someones don’t shut it.”
“Fed?” What an odd word to use for food.
“Yeah, fed.”
She hadn’t noticed until Nina mentioned it, but the vampire hadn’t shared in their meal of winterberries or roasted chestnuts—nor had she drunk a drop of water. But the word “fed” in relation to eating a meal was a rather strange choice. “Why haven’t you, um, eaten…or fed. I mean, why didn’t you have some berries with us last night? We had plenty. I would have shared, too.”
“Because Crustypants can’t eat food anymore,” Marty teased, yanking the length of Nina’s dirty yellow skirt.
Toni fought an astonished gasp as they climbed yet another hill. “Then what do you eat to live?”
“I don’t live, numbnuts. I’m dead, remember?”
Then something registered. Maybe it was a fact from a movie or a TV show or whatever, but it would be another of her worst fears realized since she’d first learned Nina was a vampire. But no. She didn’t really drink…Did she?
Toni stopped for a moment, putting her hand on Nina’s arm. “So then you really eat—”
“Blood. More specifically, I drink blood, and I’m gonna need some soon. Any particular spot on your neck you want me to tap first?” Nina lifted her cracked sunglasses and glared down at Toni.
Yep. Worst fear realized. But she was determined to take this new information in stride, too, right along with everything else. “So how do we get you blood?”
Her face changed again, darkening with worry. “I don’t know. I don’t do human or animal blood. We drink this synthetic shit my husband’s clan provides. One taste of the wrong blood and it could fuck everything up.”
“So you’re an eco-conscious vampire?”
“No. I’m one who doesn’t want to turn into a raving lunatic and commit mass homicide. Real blood does weird shit to a vampire. It can make you lust for the genuine article all the time, and that’s how you lose control and start taking bitches out—or innocents, as we call them. My clan is determined to live with humans—which is a good thing for you. Now quit yakking and go make nice with Flawless. He’s all pouty after your argument last night.”
Toni looked down at the ground, her next words not a
Similar Books
