A Woman of Independent Means by Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey Page B
Authors: Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey
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than my husband before I find enough charity in my heart to forgive those whose only sin is that they are still alive.
Forgive me for inflicting so many of my unspoken thoughts on you, but I sensed you would understand. Here at home and in my letters to friends and family, I have to maintain a calm façade that becomes more foreign to me by the hour. I hope you will permit me the luxury of exorcising a few more demons in yet another letter. You were so kind to writeâand even kinder now to listen.
The children are all well. Eleanor is active and healthy and I suspect she has almost forgotten the tragic occasion that acquainted us with one another.
Sincerely,
Bess Steed
March 5, 1919
St. Louis
Dear Manning,
I have been with Marvin Hamilton all morning discussing the alarming deficit in the companyâs finances due to deaths from influenza. The cash flow from the sale of new policies has been diverted to pay all the claims made since Christmas.
Under no circumstances can we consider paying the stockholders a dividend this quarter. I am determined to meet all the claims as promptly as possible, though this may entail considerable personal sacrifice on the part of everyone involved in the company.
Rob of course carried a sizable policy on his own life but I am shelving my claim for the moment. I am also foregoing the benefits to which I am entitled as the widow of an executive, and I am asking everyone to continue working at his present salary in spite of the higher title he inherited at Robâs death.
I think it is important for you to attend the board meeting here next week. Some long-range decisions will be made and I want you to be part of them. I hope you will plan to stay with us. The children would be so happy to have you under our roof, however briefly.
My love to Lydia and Mother Steed,
Bess
May 14, 1919
St. Louis
Dearest Totsie,
Your letter brought me the first bright day I have known since Rob died. The thought of joining you in Vermont for the summer fills me with delight! What a reprieve from the terrible reality of my life just now!
Once we decided to close the St. Louis office of the company, I knew I had no choice but to sell my house here and move back to Dallasâbut to return without a husband and with less money than when we left is an unbearable admission of defeat. And I will postpone it as long as possible.
Your invitation for the summer is such a tangible offer of comfort at a time when words of sympathy ring hollow in my ears. I am so weary of people asking if there is anything they can do for me. Of course I always answer with a polite no, and they go away satisfied at having done their duty. If only once I dared answer in the affirmative. But nothing frightens people more than undisguised need. I have kept all my old friends through this difficult time by never demanding the dues of friendship. Not that I doubt they would be paidâbut only once. Friendship to me is like a capital reserve. It pays dividends only so long as the principal remains intact. Whatever personal sacrifice is required, I am determined to come through this experience without spending my principalâon any level.
The children are very excited at the thought of a trip east. We are all eager for the sight of a landscape without memories. How I look forward to holding the babyâand you. Please thank Dwight for his share in your kind invitation.
I love you dearly,
Bess
May 25, 1919
St. Louis
Dear Cousin Josie,
Forgive me for the long delay in replying to your letter of condolence, but I was in such disagreement with the sentiments expressed I could not bring myself to acknowledge them.
Of course I am outraged by the untimely death of my husband, but I am even more outraged by your willingness to have been taken in his place. I will not die willingly, even if I live to be a hundred, and your welcoming acceptance of the end of life seems to me an affront to all that has gone before. I
Forgive me for inflicting so many of my unspoken thoughts on you, but I sensed you would understand. Here at home and in my letters to friends and family, I have to maintain a calm façade that becomes more foreign to me by the hour. I hope you will permit me the luxury of exorcising a few more demons in yet another letter. You were so kind to writeâand even kinder now to listen.
The children are all well. Eleanor is active and healthy and I suspect she has almost forgotten the tragic occasion that acquainted us with one another.
Sincerely,
Bess Steed
March 5, 1919
St. Louis
Dear Manning,
I have been with Marvin Hamilton all morning discussing the alarming deficit in the companyâs finances due to deaths from influenza. The cash flow from the sale of new policies has been diverted to pay all the claims made since Christmas.
Under no circumstances can we consider paying the stockholders a dividend this quarter. I am determined to meet all the claims as promptly as possible, though this may entail considerable personal sacrifice on the part of everyone involved in the company.
Rob of course carried a sizable policy on his own life but I am shelving my claim for the moment. I am also foregoing the benefits to which I am entitled as the widow of an executive, and I am asking everyone to continue working at his present salary in spite of the higher title he inherited at Robâs death.
I think it is important for you to attend the board meeting here next week. Some long-range decisions will be made and I want you to be part of them. I hope you will plan to stay with us. The children would be so happy to have you under our roof, however briefly.
My love to Lydia and Mother Steed,
Bess
May 14, 1919
St. Louis
Dearest Totsie,
Your letter brought me the first bright day I have known since Rob died. The thought of joining you in Vermont for the summer fills me with delight! What a reprieve from the terrible reality of my life just now!
Once we decided to close the St. Louis office of the company, I knew I had no choice but to sell my house here and move back to Dallasâbut to return without a husband and with less money than when we left is an unbearable admission of defeat. And I will postpone it as long as possible.
Your invitation for the summer is such a tangible offer of comfort at a time when words of sympathy ring hollow in my ears. I am so weary of people asking if there is anything they can do for me. Of course I always answer with a polite no, and they go away satisfied at having done their duty. If only once I dared answer in the affirmative. But nothing frightens people more than undisguised need. I have kept all my old friends through this difficult time by never demanding the dues of friendship. Not that I doubt they would be paidâbut only once. Friendship to me is like a capital reserve. It pays dividends only so long as the principal remains intact. Whatever personal sacrifice is required, I am determined to come through this experience without spending my principalâon any level.
The children are very excited at the thought of a trip east. We are all eager for the sight of a landscape without memories. How I look forward to holding the babyâand you. Please thank Dwight for his share in your kind invitation.
I love you dearly,
Bess
May 25, 1919
St. Louis
Dear Cousin Josie,
Forgive me for the long delay in replying to your letter of condolence, but I was in such disagreement with the sentiments expressed I could not bring myself to acknowledge them.
Of course I am outraged by the untimely death of my husband, but I am even more outraged by your willingness to have been taken in his place. I will not die willingly, even if I live to be a hundred, and your welcoming acceptance of the end of life seems to me an affront to all that has gone before. I
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