got it bad, don't you?" Dana said.
"I hardly know him." The denial was perfunctory at best. She didn't honestly expect Dana to believe it. Judging from her grin, she didn't.
"Sometimes time has nothing to do with it."
"We've never gotten along."
"Nobody ever gets along with Sam, if he has his way. That's how he protects himself from getting hurt. Can I give you a word of advice?"
"Why not?"
"Don't pay any attention to what he says. Watch what he does. You know the kind of life we had before Jason came along. Everything was a struggle. We'd lost both my parents. All we had to depend on was each other. Then I went off and married Jason. As much as we try to make Sammy a part of our life, he's always felt like he lost me, too. So, he tries to stay away. He tries not to feel anything for any of us. He figures if he makes the wall high enough and thick enough, he'll never be hurt or abandoned again."
Dana's words made perfect sense, but they left Penny feeling more unsure of herself than ever. She regarded Sam's sister wistfully. "You know what's on the other side of that wall, because you've had a lifetime to understand him. He lets you see what's going on inside him, because he trusts you. How do I get beyond it?"
"Time. Patience. Love. You have to love him enough to look beyond the wall."
Easier said than done, Penny thought as Dana went off to join in the volleyball game. Anyway, who had said anything about love? Besides the incurably romantic Didi, of course.
Penny was willing to admit she was attracted to Sam, sufficiently attracted to him that she'd been inevitably drawn back to Boston to do her graduate work after years of refusing invitations to visit. That was what she had been longing to tell him the night before, but she had known that he wasn't ready for that much honesty. She'd stayed away as long as she could and when her silly, childish fantasies about him hadn't died, she had come back to discover why.
Maybe it had been her stubborn pride at stake, too. Sam was the first important person in her entire life who hadn't immediately and without reservation liked her. She'd had doting parents, supportive sisters, a generous aunt, an adoring grandmother and then an even more adoring grandfather. Her teachers thought she was brilliant. She'd grown up surrounded by friends.
And then, along had come Sam Roberts, the first boy she'd seriously fallen for, and he'd rejected her as little more than a pesky nuisance to be tolerated out of some sense of duty. It had shaken her self-esteem more than she would have ever thought possible. Maybe if it had come at any other time in her life, it wouldn't have mattered so much. But she had been sixteen, discovering what love was all about for the very first time. And Sam was someone her grandfather admired and respected. It made his opinion of her count for even more.
Other young men had followed that first disastrous encounter with Sam. She had been very popular her senior year in high school and all through college. No Friday or Saturday night passed without a date. But few dates were repeated and no one had made her feel the same way Sam had--good or bad.
She'd never been naive enough to believe she would go through life beloved by every single person on earth, but she hadn't had a lot of practice with rejection. Something in Sam's attitude had made her want desperately to prove that whatever assumptions he had made about her were wrong. She refused to accept the possibility that it was just a case of oil and water not mixing. Plus not one single kiss in her entire dating experience had wiped out the yearning she felt for the one kiss that had never happened.
And now that it had happened? She was going to figure out some way to fight Sam's stubbornness, some way to make sure that last night's kisses weren't the only ones they ever shared. If Grandfather and everyone else wanted to throw them together, including the troublesome Tank Landry, so much the better. She no
"I hardly know him." The denial was perfunctory at best. She didn't honestly expect Dana to believe it. Judging from her grin, she didn't.
"Sometimes time has nothing to do with it."
"We've never gotten along."
"Nobody ever gets along with Sam, if he has his way. That's how he protects himself from getting hurt. Can I give you a word of advice?"
"Why not?"
"Don't pay any attention to what he says. Watch what he does. You know the kind of life we had before Jason came along. Everything was a struggle. We'd lost both my parents. All we had to depend on was each other. Then I went off and married Jason. As much as we try to make Sammy a part of our life, he's always felt like he lost me, too. So, he tries to stay away. He tries not to feel anything for any of us. He figures if he makes the wall high enough and thick enough, he'll never be hurt or abandoned again."
Dana's words made perfect sense, but they left Penny feeling more unsure of herself than ever. She regarded Sam's sister wistfully. "You know what's on the other side of that wall, because you've had a lifetime to understand him. He lets you see what's going on inside him, because he trusts you. How do I get beyond it?"
"Time. Patience. Love. You have to love him enough to look beyond the wall."
Easier said than done, Penny thought as Dana went off to join in the volleyball game. Anyway, who had said anything about love? Besides the incurably romantic Didi, of course.
Penny was willing to admit she was attracted to Sam, sufficiently attracted to him that she'd been inevitably drawn back to Boston to do her graduate work after years of refusing invitations to visit. That was what she had been longing to tell him the night before, but she had known that he wasn't ready for that much honesty. She'd stayed away as long as she could and when her silly, childish fantasies about him hadn't died, she had come back to discover why.
Maybe it had been her stubborn pride at stake, too. Sam was the first important person in her entire life who hadn't immediately and without reservation liked her. She'd had doting parents, supportive sisters, a generous aunt, an adoring grandmother and then an even more adoring grandfather. Her teachers thought she was brilliant. She'd grown up surrounded by friends.
And then, along had come Sam Roberts, the first boy she'd seriously fallen for, and he'd rejected her as little more than a pesky nuisance to be tolerated out of some sense of duty. It had shaken her self-esteem more than she would have ever thought possible. Maybe if it had come at any other time in her life, it wouldn't have mattered so much. But she had been sixteen, discovering what love was all about for the very first time. And Sam was someone her grandfather admired and respected. It made his opinion of her count for even more.
Other young men had followed that first disastrous encounter with Sam. She had been very popular her senior year in high school and all through college. No Friday or Saturday night passed without a date. But few dates were repeated and no one had made her feel the same way Sam had--good or bad.
She'd never been naive enough to believe she would go through life beloved by every single person on earth, but she hadn't had a lot of practice with rejection. Something in Sam's attitude had made her want desperately to prove that whatever assumptions he had made about her were wrong. She refused to accept the possibility that it was just a case of oil and water not mixing. Plus not one single kiss in her entire dating experience had wiped out the yearning she felt for the one kiss that had never happened.
And now that it had happened? She was going to figure out some way to fight Sam's stubbornness, some way to make sure that last night's kisses weren't the only ones they ever shared. If Grandfather and everyone else wanted to throw them together, including the troublesome Tank Landry, so much the better. She no
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