an overreaction to this new level of
intimacy that she’d never experienced before, this new level of
emotion. Love her heart screamed, the emotion is love. She
couldn’t stop smiling as she went round and round with the idea in
her mind.
“Oh yeah, you’ve got it bad,” Andi
confirmed.
“I guess I do,” Maggie sighed happily. There
was no reason to deny it, no reason to want to.
“So what’s the plan?” Andi asked as she
finished off her sandwich.
“I need to pick up some groceries, and then
I was hoping I could catch a ride home with you,” Maggie told her
as she finished her own lunch.
“No, I mean the big plan. What are you going
to do when summer is over?” Andi asked the question that Maggie had
been ignoring since the day she’d arrived. Maggie felt that
question hit her with full force now, and she didn’t have an
answer.
She felt a familiar tightening in her chest
as it suddenly became harder to breathe. She could feel the panic
gripping her, but she wouldn’t let it take hold. Maggie had been
trying to coast through this summer without making plans, without
thinking of the future. It was all catching up with her now.
She’d always made plans to feel in control,
to keep the panic at bay. She had no plans right now; she had no
control. In the past, acknowledging that fact alone would be enough
to cripple her with a panic attack, but that’s not who she was
anymore. It’s not who she wanted to be. She had come too far from
the person she’d been to go back now.
She’d proven that she could survive without
a plan, and learned that sometimes allowing life to happen led you
down roads you may never have found on your own. However, she also
realized that she couldn’t just float through the rest of her life.
It was time to make a plan.
“I don’t know,” Maggie answered honestly.
“But I think it’s time to figure that out.”
“I’ve got two more hours on my shift,” Andi
told her as they paid for their lunch. “But after that I can take
you home.”
“Alright. I’ll walk around town for a while
to kill some time before I start my grocery shopping.”
The women hugged goodbye and Andi headed
back toward the grocery store, leaving Maggie to window shop and
wander the streets of Sweetwater. Maggie was lost in thought as she
slowly navigated the tree-lined avenues.
She realized that a small part of her had
always planned to go back to Boston. She’d considered this
adventure a break from reality, a respite for her overwhelmed mind,
but the little control freak that lived inside her head had always
planned to go back. She’d only been fooling herself believing that
she was coasting through this summer without a plan. Perhaps she
had allowed herself a few months of a carefree existence, but she’d
only been able to live that way because in the back of her mind she
knew she would return to reality eventually. But things were
different now, so many things had changed. She had changed. Had
what she wanted changed as well?
The idea of returning to her solitary life
in Boston was almost unbearable. But Aaron’s behavior this morning
also made her question whether or not he would actually want her to
stay. And what if he did ask her to stay? Is that what she wanted?
Was she was ready to give up her dream of becoming a doctor? She
realized now that not only had she planned to return to Boston,
she’d also hoped to be accepted back into school.
Maggie had always dreamed of being a doctor,
and although she’d hit a major bump in the road along the way, she
wasn’t really sure that she was ready to give up on that dream. But
how could she have both? How could she have this life with Aaron
and also pursue her dreams? If she had to choose, what did she want
more?
Maggie was so lost in thought that she
didn’t even see the gentleman in front of her until she bumped
right into him.
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Maggie exclaimed. She
looked up at the man and found a pair of ice-blue eyes
intimacy that she’d never experienced before, this new level of
emotion. Love her heart screamed, the emotion is love. She
couldn’t stop smiling as she went round and round with the idea in
her mind.
“Oh yeah, you’ve got it bad,” Andi
confirmed.
“I guess I do,” Maggie sighed happily. There
was no reason to deny it, no reason to want to.
“So what’s the plan?” Andi asked as she
finished off her sandwich.
“I need to pick up some groceries, and then
I was hoping I could catch a ride home with you,” Maggie told her
as she finished her own lunch.
“No, I mean the big plan. What are you going
to do when summer is over?” Andi asked the question that Maggie had
been ignoring since the day she’d arrived. Maggie felt that
question hit her with full force now, and she didn’t have an
answer.
She felt a familiar tightening in her chest
as it suddenly became harder to breathe. She could feel the panic
gripping her, but she wouldn’t let it take hold. Maggie had been
trying to coast through this summer without making plans, without
thinking of the future. It was all catching up with her now.
She’d always made plans to feel in control,
to keep the panic at bay. She had no plans right now; she had no
control. In the past, acknowledging that fact alone would be enough
to cripple her with a panic attack, but that’s not who she was
anymore. It’s not who she wanted to be. She had come too far from
the person she’d been to go back now.
She’d proven that she could survive without
a plan, and learned that sometimes allowing life to happen led you
down roads you may never have found on your own. However, she also
realized that she couldn’t just float through the rest of her life.
It was time to make a plan.
“I don’t know,” Maggie answered honestly.
“But I think it’s time to figure that out.”
“I’ve got two more hours on my shift,” Andi
told her as they paid for their lunch. “But after that I can take
you home.”
“Alright. I’ll walk around town for a while
to kill some time before I start my grocery shopping.”
The women hugged goodbye and Andi headed
back toward the grocery store, leaving Maggie to window shop and
wander the streets of Sweetwater. Maggie was lost in thought as she
slowly navigated the tree-lined avenues.
She realized that a small part of her had
always planned to go back to Boston. She’d considered this
adventure a break from reality, a respite for her overwhelmed mind,
but the little control freak that lived inside her head had always
planned to go back. She’d only been fooling herself believing that
she was coasting through this summer without a plan. Perhaps she
had allowed herself a few months of a carefree existence, but she’d
only been able to live that way because in the back of her mind she
knew she would return to reality eventually. But things were
different now, so many things had changed. She had changed. Had
what she wanted changed as well?
The idea of returning to her solitary life
in Boston was almost unbearable. But Aaron’s behavior this morning
also made her question whether or not he would actually want her to
stay. And what if he did ask her to stay? Is that what she wanted?
Was she was ready to give up her dream of becoming a doctor? She
realized now that not only had she planned to return to Boston,
she’d also hoped to be accepted back into school.
Maggie had always dreamed of being a doctor,
and although she’d hit a major bump in the road along the way, she
wasn’t really sure that she was ready to give up on that dream. But
how could she have both? How could she have this life with Aaron
and also pursue her dreams? If she had to choose, what did she want
more?
Maggie was so lost in thought that she
didn’t even see the gentleman in front of her until she bumped
right into him.
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Maggie exclaimed. She
looked up at the man and found a pair of ice-blue eyes
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