Carvelas proved with it that he was different. But then again, she had already known that. He didn't want to jump over the steps no other dudes were ever interested in. He wanted to treat her right first. There was something the algebra class was supposed to be doing, but Desire wasn't interested. She ignored the problem Mr. Garcia had put on the board for them to do and wrote out her own problem with Carvelas in the notebook in front of her.
Carvelas
,
You know I feel for you too, boo. You my buddy, my backup, in church and on the streets. We got a lot of music to make together, I'm sure. I guess I just don't know about everythingelse you talking about. I'm not into hitting the sheets. That's not my style. And you're being nice about it now, but how I know that's not all you want? I don't know, I guess I just don't trust nobody. Ain't been too many people in my life to trust. I don't think I want to take the chance that you're one of them. I just like things the way they are now
.
She knew enough to make Carvelas wait for her answer, which really wasn't an answer, just more questions. She met Carvelas at his locker after school and gave him the letter. She walked away before he could ask her if she wanted him to join her on the way home. She didn't even tell Tiah what was going on, nor Hattie Mae. The next morning, Carvelas was standing at Desire's locker when she arrived at school, with a letter of his own. As she had done, he walked away as soon as he gave it to her. She answered him, again, after school. For days, she and Carvelas wrote, communicating without spoken words, fighting out their feelings on the page.
Desire
,
Well, I guess I should have known that it wouldn't be easy. That's really what I like about you. You tough, you protect yourself. You give everybody a hard time so they can't get close to you. I know you won't believe me, but I used to be the exact same way. I don't know why. I had a lot of bullshit happen when I grew up. Fights, drugs, my cousins dragged me into things I didn't really want to get dragged into. They called me stupid for going to school and wanting to work onmy music. I thought I was supposed to be out here pushing everything away that was good for me, jumping into everything that wasn't. But then, I don't know, one day I just woke up. Believe it or not, it was your grandmother who pushed me there. You was still away, hadn't started coming to church yet. She heard me practicing one day after choir practice, when I thought everybody else was gone. She was still there, cleaning up, dusting off the Bibles, tidying up the pastor's office. And she came in, and damn, I remember it like it was yesterday. She told me, “Boy, you can play your little butt off.” I was shocked cause I didn't know nobody was listening. She pulled out the hymnal and made me play some songs. It was cold outside, really a blizzard, and neither one of us was in a rush to get back out there. So we waited it out with my music, and I played for her all night. That was, I don't know, kind of like a turning point for me, a couple of years ago. But I don't have to tell you about your own grandmother. You already know. I guess I want to talk about you. Or me and you. What's up, Desire? Why you think I'm not worth the risk?
Carvelas
,
Read closer. I actually ain't never say you wasn't worth the risk. I'm just saying I have to take a chance to find out. And I don't know if I feel like doing that right now. Things are all right in my life. I'm singing in the choir, I'm handling my business in school, everything is gravy at home. I'm even thinking about trying to be a singer, like going to college to study it and having a manager while I'm there. Me and Tiahtalking about making a group. Getting some other girls together to sing and dance. I like my life, and for a long time I didn't. I just don't want to fuck up what I already got going on. I'm not surprised by anything you said about Hattie Mae. That's her ass all
Carvelas
,
You know I feel for you too, boo. You my buddy, my backup, in church and on the streets. We got a lot of music to make together, I'm sure. I guess I just don't know about everythingelse you talking about. I'm not into hitting the sheets. That's not my style. And you're being nice about it now, but how I know that's not all you want? I don't know, I guess I just don't trust nobody. Ain't been too many people in my life to trust. I don't think I want to take the chance that you're one of them. I just like things the way they are now
.
She knew enough to make Carvelas wait for her answer, which really wasn't an answer, just more questions. She met Carvelas at his locker after school and gave him the letter. She walked away before he could ask her if she wanted him to join her on the way home. She didn't even tell Tiah what was going on, nor Hattie Mae. The next morning, Carvelas was standing at Desire's locker when she arrived at school, with a letter of his own. As she had done, he walked away as soon as he gave it to her. She answered him, again, after school. For days, she and Carvelas wrote, communicating without spoken words, fighting out their feelings on the page.
Desire
,
Well, I guess I should have known that it wouldn't be easy. That's really what I like about you. You tough, you protect yourself. You give everybody a hard time so they can't get close to you. I know you won't believe me, but I used to be the exact same way. I don't know why. I had a lot of bullshit happen when I grew up. Fights, drugs, my cousins dragged me into things I didn't really want to get dragged into. They called me stupid for going to school and wanting to work onmy music. I thought I was supposed to be out here pushing everything away that was good for me, jumping into everything that wasn't. But then, I don't know, one day I just woke up. Believe it or not, it was your grandmother who pushed me there. You was still away, hadn't started coming to church yet. She heard me practicing one day after choir practice, when I thought everybody else was gone. She was still there, cleaning up, dusting off the Bibles, tidying up the pastor's office. And she came in, and damn, I remember it like it was yesterday. She told me, “Boy, you can play your little butt off.” I was shocked cause I didn't know nobody was listening. She pulled out the hymnal and made me play some songs. It was cold outside, really a blizzard, and neither one of us was in a rush to get back out there. So we waited it out with my music, and I played for her all night. That was, I don't know, kind of like a turning point for me, a couple of years ago. But I don't have to tell you about your own grandmother. You already know. I guess I want to talk about you. Or me and you. What's up, Desire? Why you think I'm not worth the risk?
Carvelas
,
Read closer. I actually ain't never say you wasn't worth the risk. I'm just saying I have to take a chance to find out. And I don't know if I feel like doing that right now. Things are all right in my life. I'm singing in the choir, I'm handling my business in school, everything is gravy at home. I'm even thinking about trying to be a singer, like going to college to study it and having a manager while I'm there. Me and Tiahtalking about making a group. Getting some other girls together to sing and dance. I like my life, and for a long time I didn't. I just don't want to fuck up what I already got going on. I'm not surprised by anything you said about Hattie Mae. That's her ass all
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