she mentioned that photo of him with Calisto in Paris? Asked where Calisto wasstaying over there? Yet without proof of anything untoward, what would be the point of questioning Alexei? He would very much resent an interrogation. And with their marriage hanging in the balance did she really want to take the risk of heightening the conflict between them? Of making counter-accusations that might well have no basis in reality? Alexei had still to apologise for suspecting her of a secret affair with Damon Marios, she reminded herself doggedly. She tossed and turned while she swung between angry defiance, fear of losing Alexei and self-loathing. She loved him too much, still wanted him too much in spite of the way he was treating her, and that made her despise herself. Oh, how she longed to reclaim the sensible wall of detachment she had once been able to protect herself with around Alexei!
Alexei was considerate enough not to put on the lights when he came to bed after midnight, but when he swore after colliding with a solid piece of furniture in the darkness Billie stretched up with a sigh to switch on the bedside lights. ‘It’s all right…I’m not asleep,’ she told him.
She tried to go to sleep then, but when the mattress sank beneath his weight, she said abruptly, ‘Did you really think I’d got involved with Damon?’ That demand came to her lips before she even appreciated that she needed to ask him it.
‘I was with Calisto. How do I know what you did during that period? Or whether you would turn to him for sympathy when our marriage was in trouble?’ he fielded stonily.
‘Well, you could start by trying not to assume that everything I say is a lie,’ Billie pointed out gently. ‘Justbecause I found Damon attractive when I was a teenager doesn’t mean I still feel the same way as an adult—’
‘Why not? He so obviously does still find you tempting,’ Alexei retorted drily.
That response filled her with impatience over his obstinacy. She was damned if she did, damned if she didn’t. ‘There’s just one flaw in that view. I’m in love with you,’ she said boldly.
‘If hiding my child from me is your idea of love, I can live without it. Trust is more important and we’ve lost it,’ he delivered bluntly, turning out the lights again.
As his lean powerful body brushed up against hers Billie froze like an icicle; his take on their marriage chilled her to the marrow. He didn’t love her, he didn’t even want her love and he didn’t trust her either. Did that leave anything left for her to hope for? Any bond with which they might rebuild their relationship? Alexei closed an arm round her and tugged her up close in a movement that took her totally by surprise and reminded her of a potential fringe benefit of matrimony that she had overlooked. The sensitive tips of her breasts swelled and tightened in contact with his hard muscular torso and a sensation like hot liquid lightning snaked through her pelvis, creating moisture on the tender flesh between her slender thighs. His mouth brushed her cheek, his breath fanning her lips, and the musky male scent of him flared her nostrils and left her weaker still. But her defences conjured up that photo of him seated with Calisto in Paris and somewhere down deep inside herself she was able to switch off the current of responsive heat and turn colder than a winter’s day in his arms.
‘No,’ she breathed in fierce rejection.
Alexei tensed. ‘No?’
And a part of her that she didn’t like very much gloried in his lack of familiarity with that negative word between the sheets. She pushed him away and retreated to the far edge of the bed. ‘No. Feeling as you do about me, I don’t think you should be touching me,’ she extended in blunt clarification.
Without warning the lights went on again and she blinked in astonishment. Alexei sent her a seething appraisal, his lean dark features hard as iron. ‘You’re not going to punish me with celibacy,
Alexei was considerate enough not to put on the lights when he came to bed after midnight, but when he swore after colliding with a solid piece of furniture in the darkness Billie stretched up with a sigh to switch on the bedside lights. ‘It’s all right…I’m not asleep,’ she told him.
She tried to go to sleep then, but when the mattress sank beneath his weight, she said abruptly, ‘Did you really think I’d got involved with Damon?’ That demand came to her lips before she even appreciated that she needed to ask him it.
‘I was with Calisto. How do I know what you did during that period? Or whether you would turn to him for sympathy when our marriage was in trouble?’ he fielded stonily.
‘Well, you could start by trying not to assume that everything I say is a lie,’ Billie pointed out gently. ‘Justbecause I found Damon attractive when I was a teenager doesn’t mean I still feel the same way as an adult—’
‘Why not? He so obviously does still find you tempting,’ Alexei retorted drily.
That response filled her with impatience over his obstinacy. She was damned if she did, damned if she didn’t. ‘There’s just one flaw in that view. I’m in love with you,’ she said boldly.
‘If hiding my child from me is your idea of love, I can live without it. Trust is more important and we’ve lost it,’ he delivered bluntly, turning out the lights again.
As his lean powerful body brushed up against hers Billie froze like an icicle; his take on their marriage chilled her to the marrow. He didn’t love her, he didn’t even want her love and he didn’t trust her either. Did that leave anything left for her to hope for? Any bond with which they might rebuild their relationship? Alexei closed an arm round her and tugged her up close in a movement that took her totally by surprise and reminded her of a potential fringe benefit of matrimony that she had overlooked. The sensitive tips of her breasts swelled and tightened in contact with his hard muscular torso and a sensation like hot liquid lightning snaked through her pelvis, creating moisture on the tender flesh between her slender thighs. His mouth brushed her cheek, his breath fanning her lips, and the musky male scent of him flared her nostrils and left her weaker still. But her defences conjured up that photo of him seated with Calisto in Paris and somewhere down deep inside herself she was able to switch off the current of responsive heat and turn colder than a winter’s day in his arms.
‘No,’ she breathed in fierce rejection.
Alexei tensed. ‘No?’
And a part of her that she didn’t like very much gloried in his lack of familiarity with that negative word between the sheets. She pushed him away and retreated to the far edge of the bed. ‘No. Feeling as you do about me, I don’t think you should be touching me,’ she extended in blunt clarification.
Without warning the lights went on again and she blinked in astonishment. Alexei sent her a seething appraisal, his lean dark features hard as iron. ‘You’re not going to punish me with celibacy,
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