A Shred of Truth by Eric Wilson Page A

you.”
    “That’s why you left me.”
    “
Yes
. Yes, exactly. Can’t you see? I needed all of you or none at all. When you started drifting away, it broke my heart wide open. You were coked out of your head, unavailable, and I had to talk to someone. But I never meant for anything to happen—you have to believe that.”
    “Doesn’t matter. It’s done.”
    “Have I lost you?”
    My hand remained frozen on the knob, leaving a slight gap in the doorway. The fresh air made the room’s stale smells more pronounced, as well as the contrasting floral perfume. And yet there was no mistaking the inebriation in Felicia’s eyes and the weariness that went well beyond the wine.
    “I shouldn’t have come up here,” I told her.
    “But you did. Maybe you should let your heart guide you more often.”
    “Our hearts are what got us into trouble before.”
    “It’s my last night here.”
    “I told you. I’ve changed.”
    “Hmm. I’m not so sure.”
    “Nothing like a vote of confidence.”
    “Surely you won’t deny that our kiss at the museum brought back memories. We’re being given a chance to start over.”
    “By some freak’s manipulations,” I noted. “You wanna talk about starting over? This very night there’s a woman here in Nashville, another old flame of mine, who’s sitting behind bars because of what happened last year. Did you know about that?”
    “We all have our sins. Don’t punish me for hers.”
    “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I’ve punished myself, Felicia, by following my heart and making some really bad choices. Someday I hope to find the one for me, sure. But she’ll have to respect the way love works. She’ll …” My voice trailed off.
    “Is there someone else?”
    “What? No.” My hand flexed around the doorknob. “I’m just … still learning, I guess. Or unlearning.”
    “Wow. Okay, maybe you
have
changed. What’s happened?”
    “Honestly? I’m trying to follow God.”
    “Aramis Black’s found religion. There’s one for the front pages.”
    “No, it’s not religion. It’s more like … Well, I want to be who he created me to be. Back in Portland, I was destroying myself.”
    “There’s an understatement.”
    My hands fell to my sides, and I leaned back against the door till it latched. “If you can, please forgive me for the junk I put you through. You didn’t deserve any of it. I think you need to hear me say this. I want you to be able to move on.”
    “If only you knew.” She clasped the folds of her robe. “It’s too late for that.”
    “Why?”
    She looked to the ceiling. Closed her eyes with a heavy sigh.
    Footsteps approached on the landing, and a flurry of activity started in my head. I spun to latch the chain. My hands pressed against the metal door.I was an idiot for coming up here. No doubt AX had warned her not to let me in.
    “What is it?” Felicia sat up, alert.
    “Someone’s coming. I need to hide.”
    “Probably just a guest who checked in or someone getting ice.”
    Was she covering?
    “I don’t think so,” I said, slinking past the bed. A loud rap on the door stopped me in my tracks.
    “Oh!” Felicia sat up and looked at me.
    Putting a finger to my lips, I eased into the bathroom. The odor of cigarettes clung to every air particle. I turned to peek through the door, but the angle allowed only a glimpse of an armchair, peeling wallpaper, and a kitschy painting next to the TV.
    Another knock. What had I gotten myself into? The whole purpose in coming here had been Felicia’s safekeeping, but the matching Hyundais had thrown me, and the conversation with Meade had pushed me into breaking my promise to Johnny Ray.
    Knock, knock, knock …
    Felicia’s robe swirled by. “Be there in a moment.”
    No!
She had always been too trusting. But before the command could travel from my brain to my mouth, a familiar voice bellowed from the doorway. I recalled pink bicycle shorts and a strained yellow tube top.
    “He’s in