A Royal Mess

A Royal Mess by Tyne O’Connell Page A

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Authors: Tyne O’Connell
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look around the shops, Sarah?’ I suggested brightly, hoping to coax her out of her mood.
She didn’t need much encouragement. She wrapped her arm around my waist and gave me a squeeze. ‘Sorry if I’m being a bit full on,’ she explained. ‘It’s just that I’m still finding my feet as a single mom.’
I spoke to her gently. ‘But Sarah, you’re not really a single mom, are you?’ I asked. Or was she a single mom? I wondered briefly, remembering the essay competition. ‘Bob loves you. I know he can be annoying, especially when he slurps his cereal and plays the harmonica, but he does love us both and he does want you to go home. You two belong together. Who’s going to finish off his sentences for him?’ There, I’d said it. Bugger Bunny and her nutty therapy.
But Sarah was not so easily persuaded. ‘I belong here,’ she said, adding ‘with you.’ ‘And you’ll adore the house in Clapham, Boojie. It’s right on the Common. I can’t wait for you and your friends to have your sleepover party onthe exeat weekend. I’ll pick all of you up and we can go back on the train together. Won’t that be super?’
Super. Public transport was not the standard form of conveyance for Saint Augustine girls, but I was certain my friends would be more than happy for the adventure. Apart from Honey, obviously. “Yaah, that sounds great,’ I agreed cheerfully.
‘Super. We’ll have a real girls’ night in!’
‘As opposed to one of those faux girls’ nights in?’ I teased, but my poor madre just looked at me as if I were speaking in tongues again, and then her eyes glazed over the way mad people’s do.
‘Sarah, you weren’t serious about Bob not being part of your emotional thingamee were you?’ I asked gently as the sun slipped behind a cloud for what I expected would be a very long visit.
‘I don’t want to talk about anything serious,’ she said gaily. ‘I just want to have fun with my Boojie.’
‘Boojie?’ A voice came from behind. It was Kevin, Star’s boyfriend and Freddie’s best mate.
‘Hel-lo there!’ my mother sang – yes sang.
‘Erm, hello. Kevin Pyke, I’m a friend of Calypso’s.’ He extended his hand and gave me a look that said, ‘I’m afraid. I want to run away.’
‘My name’s Sarah, Kevin. I’m Calypso’s mummy.’ With that, Sarah grabbed Kevin’s hand, but not to shake it. Instead, she pulled him along with us down the cobbled lane, swinging his arm in one hand and mine in the other.‘Now, Kevin, I want to hear all about you. You and I are going to be super friends, I can just feel it.’
‘Yes, Mrs Kelly,’ Kevin agreed, but I could tell he was afraid. He kept trying to look me in the eye as a few drops of rain began to fall, but I couldn’t face him.
‘Isn’t this simply super, kids? Don’t you just love an English shower!’
Kevin laughed. ‘Actually I think it’s about to piss down, Mrs Kelly.’
‘Sarah. You must call me Sarah. I don’t want you to think of me as some old woman with no idea about current trends, Kevin. I’m a writer on one of your teen shows, Gladesdale. So, Kevin, tell me ALL about yourself. I want to know everything. I want to know what makes you tick. I want to know the real Kevin.’
‘Right. Well there’s not much to tell,’ he told the mad madre. ‘And see the thing is, love to chat and all, but have to run. Meeting the girlfriend, you see.’
Trust Star to be referred to with an article – I wondered if Freds referred to me as the girlfriend? I suspected not. I wondered if he even said ‘my girlfriend,’ but I doubted that as well.
‘Ooooh, who’s the lucky girl, Kevin?’ Sarah pried embarrassingly.
‘Sarah!’ I scolded. ‘Don’t be such a busybody.’
‘Star. She’s, erm, a friend of Calypso’s. Actually, Calypso will fill you in. I have to leg it or I’ll be –’
‘Oh, lovely. I know Star well. She came to stay with usin LA when we were still a family …’ She allowed her voice to trail off as if she

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