lips sent a rush of heat from my face all the way to my toes.
“He’s fine. Good…” I trailed off. “I just, I wish it was more… exciting. He’s so sweet, gentle, and that’s nice but…” I blushed. This was the most I’d ever talked about sex, including the few times I’d opened up to Jenna, and I didn’t want to feel embarrassed, but I did. “There’s no real passion. There’s no urgency. I’m all for sweet nothings whispered in my ear, but sometimes I just want to be thrown onto the bed, you know? Ravaged. Like he can’t fathom the thought of taking his hands off me.”
I was babbling, looking around the garden, afraid someone might overhear us. But when I chanced a look at Jamie, everything stopped. The heat of the sun closed in around us and suddenly the symbolism of where we were clicked into place. A snake path, in a garden. I felt like Eve, and here Jamie was — the juicy red apple — taunting me. Daring me.
His eyes were hooded, and I’d never been so fascinated watching someone breathe before, but there was a dip that appeared over and over at the base of his neck as he inhaled. It disappeared when he pushed the next breath out, and I counted that motion nine times before he spoke.
“I get that.”
He only said three words, low and breathy, and I knew it was because he didn’t trust himself with more than that.
“It’s probably too late to go surfing, huh?” I asked, looking at how low the sun was in the sky.
“Today?” He asked, snapping out of our haze. “Yes. But, we could go tomorrow. Get up super early, catch the morning waves. What do you say?”
I didn’t even hesitate. “I’m in.”
Jamie smiled, that bright, all-teeth smile, and then we walked back to the Jeep in comfortable silence.
He dropped me off at just past five o’clock after I declined his invitation to dinner. I was exhausted, and if we were waking up early in the morning, I wanted to sleep.
Ethan texted me twice — once while I was still in the Jeep with Jamie and once after I was back in my dorm. He wanted to hang out, but I denied him, too. I told him I was tired, which was true, but what I didn’t tell him was that I just needed a minute. My day with Jamie didn’t change anything I felt for Ethan, but it did remind me of everything I’d always felt for Jamie. All the thoughts I’d let go of on the beach the morning after Jamie’s graduation had been rounded up again, and now here they were, prevalent in my mind and waiting for me to address them.
I desperately wished I had a bathtub, because all I wanted to do was run a long, hot bath and soak for hours — in the water and in my thoughts.
I couldn’t believe Jamie remembered so much about me. About us. And it somehow brought me more comfort than anything because I remembered, too. It turned out a Whiskey stain was just as permanent as ink, and I wondered if I would ever truly wash myself clean.
Or if I even wanted to.
“B, WAKE UP.”
“Mmmm,” I murmured, reaching out to hit snooze on the alarm clock that was saying my name. My hand found a warm, hard body, and I tugged at the t-shirt wrapped around it. “Sleep.”
There was a chuckle, and my eyes flitted open, my room still dark save for the night light I had plugged in.
“Come on. We should get going if we want to catch the morning surf.”
Jamie.
My hand retracted backward and I threw the covers off, confused.
“How did you get in here?” I grabbed my phone next. 5:35 AM.
“You let me in, goofball. I called you.”
“What?” I scrolled through my call log and sure enough, his name was there, not even five minutes earlier. “I’m so confused.”
Jamie sat on the edge of my bed and I suddenly wished I had the comforter still. I was dressed in nothing but boy shorts and a crop t-shirt. “You let me in. Then you grabbed my hand and pulled me back here before crawling back into bed.”
“Oh my God.” My hand found my forehead with a smack and Jamie chuckled
“He’s fine. Good…” I trailed off. “I just, I wish it was more… exciting. He’s so sweet, gentle, and that’s nice but…” I blushed. This was the most I’d ever talked about sex, including the few times I’d opened up to Jenna, and I didn’t want to feel embarrassed, but I did. “There’s no real passion. There’s no urgency. I’m all for sweet nothings whispered in my ear, but sometimes I just want to be thrown onto the bed, you know? Ravaged. Like he can’t fathom the thought of taking his hands off me.”
I was babbling, looking around the garden, afraid someone might overhear us. But when I chanced a look at Jamie, everything stopped. The heat of the sun closed in around us and suddenly the symbolism of where we were clicked into place. A snake path, in a garden. I felt like Eve, and here Jamie was — the juicy red apple — taunting me. Daring me.
His eyes were hooded, and I’d never been so fascinated watching someone breathe before, but there was a dip that appeared over and over at the base of his neck as he inhaled. It disappeared when he pushed the next breath out, and I counted that motion nine times before he spoke.
“I get that.”
He only said three words, low and breathy, and I knew it was because he didn’t trust himself with more than that.
“It’s probably too late to go surfing, huh?” I asked, looking at how low the sun was in the sky.
“Today?” He asked, snapping out of our haze. “Yes. But, we could go tomorrow. Get up super early, catch the morning waves. What do you say?”
I didn’t even hesitate. “I’m in.”
Jamie smiled, that bright, all-teeth smile, and then we walked back to the Jeep in comfortable silence.
He dropped me off at just past five o’clock after I declined his invitation to dinner. I was exhausted, and if we were waking up early in the morning, I wanted to sleep.
Ethan texted me twice — once while I was still in the Jeep with Jamie and once after I was back in my dorm. He wanted to hang out, but I denied him, too. I told him I was tired, which was true, but what I didn’t tell him was that I just needed a minute. My day with Jamie didn’t change anything I felt for Ethan, but it did remind me of everything I’d always felt for Jamie. All the thoughts I’d let go of on the beach the morning after Jamie’s graduation had been rounded up again, and now here they were, prevalent in my mind and waiting for me to address them.
I desperately wished I had a bathtub, because all I wanted to do was run a long, hot bath and soak for hours — in the water and in my thoughts.
I couldn’t believe Jamie remembered so much about me. About us. And it somehow brought me more comfort than anything because I remembered, too. It turned out a Whiskey stain was just as permanent as ink, and I wondered if I would ever truly wash myself clean.
Or if I even wanted to.
“B, WAKE UP.”
“Mmmm,” I murmured, reaching out to hit snooze on the alarm clock that was saying my name. My hand found a warm, hard body, and I tugged at the t-shirt wrapped around it. “Sleep.”
There was a chuckle, and my eyes flitted open, my room still dark save for the night light I had plugged in.
“Come on. We should get going if we want to catch the morning surf.”
Jamie.
My hand retracted backward and I threw the covers off, confused.
“How did you get in here?” I grabbed my phone next. 5:35 AM.
“You let me in, goofball. I called you.”
“What?” I scrolled through my call log and sure enough, his name was there, not even five minutes earlier. “I’m so confused.”
Jamie sat on the edge of my bed and I suddenly wished I had the comforter still. I was dressed in nothing but boy shorts and a crop t-shirt. “You let me in. Then you grabbed my hand and pulled me back here before crawling back into bed.”
“Oh my God.” My hand found my forehead with a smack and Jamie chuckled
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