understand it. At the time I thought she only pretended to need my belt because she wanted to speak to me.
Now that I know the belt is Dorothy’s I would feel funny wearing it. I am not superstitious, but after all it does not belong to me and it did belong to poor Dorothy. I thought of throwing it away but I would feel funny doing that also, so I am sending it to you in a separate package and you can keep it or dispose of it as you see fit.
I can still wear the suit because all the girls here are wearing wide leather belts this year anyway.
Yours truly,
Annabelle Koch
Letter from Leo Kingship to Ellen Kingship:
8 March 1951
My dear Ellen,
I received your last letter and am sorry not to have replied sooner, but the demands of business have been especially pressing of late.
Yesterday being Wednesday, Marion came here to dinner. She is not looking too well. I showed her a letter which I received yesterday and she suggested that I send it on to you. You will find it enclosed. Read it now, and then continue with my letter.
Now that you have read Miss Koch’s letter, I will explain why I forwarded it.
Marion tells me that ever since Dorothy’s death you have been rebuking yourself for your imagined callousness to her. Miss Koch’s unfortunate story of Dorothy’s ‘desperate need for someone to talk with’ made you feel, according to Marion, that that someone should have been you and would have been you, had you not pushed Dorothy out on her own too soon. You believe, although this is something which Marion has only deduced from your letters, that had there been a difference in your attitude towards Dorothy, she might not have chosen the path she did.
I credit what Marion says since it explains your wishful thinking, for I can only call it that, of last April, when you stubbornly refused to believe that Dorothy’s death had been a suicide, despite the incontestable evidence of the note which you yourself received. You felt that if Dorothy had committed suicide you were in some way responsible, and so it was several weeks before you were able to accept her death for what it was, and accept also the burden of an imagined responsibility.
This letter from Miss Koch makes it clear that Dorothy went to the girl because, for some peculiar reason of her own, she did want her belt; she was not in desperate need of someone to whom she could talk. She had made up her mind to do what she was going to do, and there is absolutely no reason for you to believe that she would have come to you first if you two had not had that argument the previous Christmas. (And don’t forget it was she who was in a sullen mood and started the argument.) As for the initial coldness on Dorothy’s part, remember that I agreed with you that she should go to Stoddard rather than Caldwell, where she would only have become more dependent on you. True, if she had followed you to Caldwell the tragedy would not have happened, but ‘if’ is the biggest word in the world. Dorothy’s punishment may have been excessively severe, but she was the one who chose it. I am not responsible, you are not responsible; no one is but Dorothy herself.
The knowledge that Miss Koch’s original interpretation of Dorothy’s behaviour was erroneous will I hope, rid you of any feelings of self-recrimination that may remain.
Your loving,
Father
PS. Please excuse my indecipherable handwriting. thought this letter too personal to dictate to Miss Richardson.
Letter from Ellen Kingship to Bud Corliss:
12 March 1951
8.35 a.m.
Dear Bud,
Here I sit in the club car with a Coke (at this hour – ugh!) and a pen and paper, trying to keep my writing hand steady against the motion of the train and trying to give a ‘lucid if not brilliant’ explanation – as Prof Mulholland would say – of why I am making this trip to Blue River.
I’m sorry about tonight’s basketball game, but I’m sure Connie or Jane will be glad to go in my place, and you can
Now that I know the belt is Dorothy’s I would feel funny wearing it. I am not superstitious, but after all it does not belong to me and it did belong to poor Dorothy. I thought of throwing it away but I would feel funny doing that also, so I am sending it to you in a separate package and you can keep it or dispose of it as you see fit.
I can still wear the suit because all the girls here are wearing wide leather belts this year anyway.
Yours truly,
Annabelle Koch
Letter from Leo Kingship to Ellen Kingship:
8 March 1951
My dear Ellen,
I received your last letter and am sorry not to have replied sooner, but the demands of business have been especially pressing of late.
Yesterday being Wednesday, Marion came here to dinner. She is not looking too well. I showed her a letter which I received yesterday and she suggested that I send it on to you. You will find it enclosed. Read it now, and then continue with my letter.
Now that you have read Miss Koch’s letter, I will explain why I forwarded it.
Marion tells me that ever since Dorothy’s death you have been rebuking yourself for your imagined callousness to her. Miss Koch’s unfortunate story of Dorothy’s ‘desperate need for someone to talk with’ made you feel, according to Marion, that that someone should have been you and would have been you, had you not pushed Dorothy out on her own too soon. You believe, although this is something which Marion has only deduced from your letters, that had there been a difference in your attitude towards Dorothy, she might not have chosen the path she did.
I credit what Marion says since it explains your wishful thinking, for I can only call it that, of last April, when you stubbornly refused to believe that Dorothy’s death had been a suicide, despite the incontestable evidence of the note which you yourself received. You felt that if Dorothy had committed suicide you were in some way responsible, and so it was several weeks before you were able to accept her death for what it was, and accept also the burden of an imagined responsibility.
This letter from Miss Koch makes it clear that Dorothy went to the girl because, for some peculiar reason of her own, she did want her belt; she was not in desperate need of someone to whom she could talk. She had made up her mind to do what she was going to do, and there is absolutely no reason for you to believe that she would have come to you first if you two had not had that argument the previous Christmas. (And don’t forget it was she who was in a sullen mood and started the argument.) As for the initial coldness on Dorothy’s part, remember that I agreed with you that she should go to Stoddard rather than Caldwell, where she would only have become more dependent on you. True, if she had followed you to Caldwell the tragedy would not have happened, but ‘if’ is the biggest word in the world. Dorothy’s punishment may have been excessively severe, but she was the one who chose it. I am not responsible, you are not responsible; no one is but Dorothy herself.
The knowledge that Miss Koch’s original interpretation of Dorothy’s behaviour was erroneous will I hope, rid you of any feelings of self-recrimination that may remain.
Your loving,
Father
PS. Please excuse my indecipherable handwriting. thought this letter too personal to dictate to Miss Richardson.
Letter from Ellen Kingship to Bud Corliss:
12 March 1951
8.35 a.m.
Dear Bud,
Here I sit in the club car with a Coke (at this hour – ugh!) and a pen and paper, trying to keep my writing hand steady against the motion of the train and trying to give a ‘lucid if not brilliant’ explanation – as Prof Mulholland would say – of why I am making this trip to Blue River.
I’m sorry about tonight’s basketball game, but I’m sure Connie or Jane will be glad to go in my place, and you can
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