A Heart Renewed by Karen Baney Page B

the Arizona Territory, Julia realized the nightmares had stopped.  Despite traipsing across the wilderness, she felt safe for the first time in over a year.  Ever since her father died, she was on edge at the Star C—even before Reuben became violent towards her.  But now she felt safe on the trail with Adam.
    During the day in the silence, she had too much time to think.  She was still angry that God would allow this tragedy to befall her.  If God was so loving, why would he allow her to be raped, to be ruined?  Why would he stand by and quietly watch as Reuben beat her?  Was that how a loving God acted?  Especially since He had the power to stop all of it.  What kind of twisted being would refuse to use their power to help someone in trouble?
    Then, she thought of a verse she remembered from childhood.  In this world you will have trouble.  Or something like that.  Seems like an excuse for the all-powerful God to do nothing.   Well, if she was going to be left on her own, she would just rely on herself—and maybe Adam.
    Growing weary of her own thoughts, she started a conversation with Adam to distract herself.  “Tell me why you brought your horses all the way out here.”  Out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw him sit a little straighter in the springboard seat of the wagon.
    His green eyes lit with excitement as he responded, “Well, when I told my pa and ma about my plans to move to Will’s ranch to work with the horses, Pa told me he thought I earned the pick of the horses as payment for the years of training I put in at home.  He told me I could pick any two I wanted.  So, I picked one good stud and one good mare, both known for the quality of their offspring.  I was glad he let me take them.”
    “Why?”
    “When I first got the idea to strike out on my own, I really wanted to start my own horse breeding and training business.  I thought about going west, but the most important thing was that it would be my own.  I started discussing the idea with Pa and he suggested it might be better to start working for someone else or even partner with them, so the expense wouldn’t be so great in the beginning.  When Caroline mentioned that Will had made it to the Arizona Territory, I got the idea to write and see if he would be interested in working with me.  If I was in a better position, I would have asked to be a partner.  But as of right now, I only have two horses and my skills.”
    She nodded.
    “It was several months before I had any kind of reply.  In truth, I wrote one letter and he sent one in return.  But, I trust Will and am sure the final arrangements will be beneficial to both of us.  He even said he started the buildings and purchased a few horses specifically for breeding.”
    “Sounds like a dream come true,” Julia said trying to keep the sadness over her situation from her voice.
    “Not quite.  I hope the experience I gain and the wages I earn will eventually let me run my own place.  This is a good start.”
    She was quiet for several minutes.  In danger of returning to her heavy thoughts, she started the conversation again.  “I thought that all this time Will never wrote to me.”
    “You had no letters?  I thought you were close.”
    “We were—are.  But, I only received his first letter stating that he made it safely to his new home.  I wrote to him all the time, almost weekly at first.  But, when I never received any response month after month, I thought maybe he forgot me.”  Looking off to the distant flatlands, she continued.  “Then, the night I left, when I was going through Reuben’s desk for the money, I came across a stack of letters from Will addressed to me.  Reuben had them this whole time and he kept them from me—and he had opened them.”
    “I’m sorry.  That was wrong.”
    “I know it was.  All I can think is that Reuben has been doing his best this last year to manipulate me and get me to do his bidding.”
    “Do