overdosed the first time, he showed me the
letter. Coping with that and keeping it a secret is what started
him getting high.”
“You were older than Nicco. Why’d your dad send the
letter to him?”
“Because, at the time, he figured I was too pissed
off at him to deal with it.”
“What were you mad about?”
“The night before, he caught me reading a Playboy
magazine instead of doing my homework. He went off like a bomb with
a short fuse and beat the crap out of me.”
“But you weren’t doing anything other teenage boys
don’t do.”
“I know. But my mother had just told him what I’d
done to your Barbie and Ken dolls, and that was what he’d come to
talk to me about.”
“Oh, my gosh.” Now she felt awful about bringing
that incident up at her party.
“He called me a pervert for doing something so
smutty to a little girl’s doll. It was like he thought I was trying
to corrupt you. And then, four years later, I learned he killed
himself the next night,” he whispered absently, as if he were
speaking to the walls.
“Oh, Luke.” She put her arm around him. “I’m so
sorry. I’m sure he didn’t kill himself because of anything you did.
You were just a horny thirteen-year-old.”
“Almost fourteen. Ben and Tyler don’t know about my
dad taking his own life, so keep it to yourself, okay?”
He hadn’t even told his best friends? It shouldn’t
surprise her. Luke was an intensely private person.
His father’s suicide must have devastated him. He’d
been extremely close to his dad. Sal Marino had spent hours playing
with his sons and had always included Tyler. Whereas, her father
had always been too busy hiding from bookmakers and loan sharks to
pay attention to them. Without Sal Marino in his life, her brother
never would’ve had the example he needed to become the good father
he was today.
She remembered how swollen and battered Luke’s face
had been and the sling he’d been wearing for a dislocated shoulder.
“At your father’s funeral, you told us you’d been roughhousing with
Nicco and fell off the top of your bunk beds.”
“What’d you want me to say—that my father had
flipped out and put me in the emergency room? He’d never laid a
hand on any of us before, and losing control like that scared
him.”
Apparently, the incident had driven his father into
an even deeper depression than he must have already been suffering.
She couldn’t imagine a perceptive woman like Teresa Marino not
seeing he had some sort of a problem.
“When his temper got so short, didn’t your mom
suggest seeing a doctor? Sudden personality changes like that can
be triggered by many different pathological causes, most of which
can be treated. He could’ve—”
“Brina, I’ve already told you way more than I
should’ve. Just go to sleep.”
“But Luke, I really—”
“Please. I don’t want to talk about it.”
Despite that he’d shut her out again , it gave
her a warm feeling to know he’d shared as much as he had with
her—especially when he hadn’t told anyone else. “Thank you for
trusting me.”
He rolled back toward her and wrapped her in a
desperate embrace that ignited a spark of hope. Maybe one day he’d
introduce her to some of his other demons.
There wasn’t a doubt he had more than a few. Luke’s
attitude had undergone a complete transformation in college.
Practically overnight, the cautious, responsible guy she’d grown up
with had transformed into a reckless daredevil who seemed to have
lost all reason for living.
At the time, everyone had seen his risk-taking as a
way of coping with his brother’s first overdose. But if that had
truly been the case, in the last fifteen years, Luke should’ve come
to terms with his loss and given up jumping out of airplanes or
throwing himself in front of drug dealers’ cars.
There had to be something more behind his propensity
for danger than simply unresolved grief. For some crazy reason, it
seemed Luke had a death
letter. Coping with that and keeping it a secret is what started
him getting high.”
“You were older than Nicco. Why’d your dad send the
letter to him?”
“Because, at the time, he figured I was too pissed
off at him to deal with it.”
“What were you mad about?”
“The night before, he caught me reading a Playboy
magazine instead of doing my homework. He went off like a bomb with
a short fuse and beat the crap out of me.”
“But you weren’t doing anything other teenage boys
don’t do.”
“I know. But my mother had just told him what I’d
done to your Barbie and Ken dolls, and that was what he’d come to
talk to me about.”
“Oh, my gosh.” Now she felt awful about bringing
that incident up at her party.
“He called me a pervert for doing something so
smutty to a little girl’s doll. It was like he thought I was trying
to corrupt you. And then, four years later, I learned he killed
himself the next night,” he whispered absently, as if he were
speaking to the walls.
“Oh, Luke.” She put her arm around him. “I’m so
sorry. I’m sure he didn’t kill himself because of anything you did.
You were just a horny thirteen-year-old.”
“Almost fourteen. Ben and Tyler don’t know about my
dad taking his own life, so keep it to yourself, okay?”
He hadn’t even told his best friends? It shouldn’t
surprise her. Luke was an intensely private person.
His father’s suicide must have devastated him. He’d
been extremely close to his dad. Sal Marino had spent hours playing
with his sons and had always included Tyler. Whereas, her father
had always been too busy hiding from bookmakers and loan sharks to
pay attention to them. Without Sal Marino in his life, her brother
never would’ve had the example he needed to become the good father
he was today.
She remembered how swollen and battered Luke’s face
had been and the sling he’d been wearing for a dislocated shoulder.
“At your father’s funeral, you told us you’d been roughhousing with
Nicco and fell off the top of your bunk beds.”
“What’d you want me to say—that my father had
flipped out and put me in the emergency room? He’d never laid a
hand on any of us before, and losing control like that scared
him.”
Apparently, the incident had driven his father into
an even deeper depression than he must have already been suffering.
She couldn’t imagine a perceptive woman like Teresa Marino not
seeing he had some sort of a problem.
“When his temper got so short, didn’t your mom
suggest seeing a doctor? Sudden personality changes like that can
be triggered by many different pathological causes, most of which
can be treated. He could’ve—”
“Brina, I’ve already told you way more than I
should’ve. Just go to sleep.”
“But Luke, I really—”
“Please. I don’t want to talk about it.”
Despite that he’d shut her out again , it gave
her a warm feeling to know he’d shared as much as he had with
her—especially when he hadn’t told anyone else. “Thank you for
trusting me.”
He rolled back toward her and wrapped her in a
desperate embrace that ignited a spark of hope. Maybe one day he’d
introduce her to some of his other demons.
There wasn’t a doubt he had more than a few. Luke’s
attitude had undergone a complete transformation in college.
Practically overnight, the cautious, responsible guy she’d grown up
with had transformed into a reckless daredevil who seemed to have
lost all reason for living.
At the time, everyone had seen his risk-taking as a
way of coping with his brother’s first overdose. But if that had
truly been the case, in the last fifteen years, Luke should’ve come
to terms with his loss and given up jumping out of airplanes or
throwing himself in front of drug dealers’ cars.
There had to be something more behind his propensity
for danger than simply unresolved grief. For some crazy reason, it
seemed Luke had a death
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