A Girl's Life Online by Katherine Tarbox Page B

way. He walked over to the sofa and invited me to join him there. Instead, I went to the chair that was facing him. I sat down and looked at him more carefully.
    He was wearing dark jeans, the kind of deep blue denim that you expect to see on a cowboy, and a shirt with vertical stripes of maroon and cream against a blue background—navy blue to match the jeans.
    I would have stopped thinking about how he looked if it hadn’t been for the shoes. They were hideous. They were white canvas with a chunky rubber heel, very feminine. They might have been somewhat stylish for a girl at the time, but I couldn’t imagine a man wearing them. I couldn’t stop staring at his shoes, even after he started talking
    â€œHow was your trip?”
    â€œOkay, okay.” I couldn’t think clearly enough to say anything more.
    â€œGod, I can’t believe I missed that connecting flight. We were late taking off, and then they circled the airport for what seemed like forever. The pilot said they would hold the planes for people with connections, but of course they didn’t.”
    â€œUh-huh.”
    â€œI’m hungry. Are you hungry? I haven’t had anything all day, really. Why don’t you just go up and put on some jeans and we can go out?” he said.
    Go out? It was close to ten o’clock. I had to wake up at dawn. And besides, I was fourteen years old. There was no way I could just leave the hotel without someone knowing.
    â€œMark, I ate, and besides, it’s pretty late, don’t you think?”
    â€œBut there’s no room service after ten, and I’m really starving.”
    I just looked at him and he finally gave in to the fact that I wouldn’t go no matter what he said. I began to feel a little uncomfortable. Nervous.
    â€œI’ve been in worse hotels,” he said, suddenly changing the topic. “But they’re pretty cheap here. I mean, come with me and look at this bathroom.”
    He got up, and so did I. He waited until I started moving and then placed his hand on my back to direct me. No one had ever steered me like that before. And with his touch I suddenly realized how uncomfortable I felt with him.
    This wasn’t at all what I had expected. We were such good friends—more than friends—on the Internet. No one had ever made me feel safer and more at ease. But here, in his presence, I was anxious and confused.
    â€œLook at this,” Mark said once we were in the bathroom. “There’s not even a soap dish, and the towels are so thin they might as well be made of paper.”
    I couldn’t look Mark in the eye; in fact, I couldn’t look at him at all. I glanced into the large mirror that was behind the sink instead, and felt a shiver of surprise to see my reflection joined by his. Then I gazed down at all the toiletries on the counter. He had a large silver can of Gillette shaving cream, which seemed awkward to me. He also had a large bottle of cologne.
    â€œSmell this,” he said. He picked it up and waved it under my nose.
    â€œYuck, Mark. I can’t stand the smell of cologne.”
    â€œKatie, just stand still,” he said. He put his hands on my shoulders and then looked past me into the mirror. “I thought you would be taller.”
    I wanted to say to him that I thought he would be a lot taller himself. But I didn’t. “Well, I told you I was short” was all I could mutter.
    Mark wanted to show me a new watch that he had bought and he rushed out of the room to get it. I followed him and he gave it to me to hold. The weight and the quality made me think it was solid gold.
    â€œIs it real, I mean, solid gold?”
    â€œOf course. How could you even ask?”
    He grabbed my hand to admire my own Seiko watch. As he did, he glimpsed my necklace. It was a fourteen-karat gold necklace with a piece of jade that was carved into the Buddha of laughter. He took the Buddha in his hand.
    â€œThis is