A Girl Is a Half-Formed Thing

A Girl Is a Half-Formed Thing by Eimear McBride Page A

Book: A Girl Is a Half-Formed Thing by Eimear McBride Read Free Book Online
Authors: Eimear McBride
Tags: Fiction, Literary, Coming of Age, Family Life
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the wrong room never understand them accents them Brits have got. Your woman in the office. Yes I understand enough.
    This one’s talking. An awful lot. She’s got me out of all the ones. I don’t know. I have my red dress on? Are you living near? Just around the corner. I’m from here she says. Oh right. I just thought it would be a laugh you know. I know. I don’t. God look at that she says. That’ll be him The Big Cheese. And in he comes in. Fella sparkle-eyed with a plomp load of books. My heart go bang at no go back now no go back. Some new education begins.
    Coming coming? What? For a drink you must, course you can go on she says. Na no thanks I don’t na no well alright I will. But when we get there I don’t know what to do. Not never been to a pub. What’ll I. Go on. Go on iniquity time again, it’ll go with all that smoke she is blowing up my nose. She’s done this lots before. I see settled on the barstool drooping out her chest. What’ll you have then hey what to drink? Em thinking I’ll have Guinness for want of knowing what else what. Jesus that’ll give you guts. Go on well I’ll have what you’re having I say. I have lager, two please and sit down there. I’ll get these with my held pound note out or two.
    Bringing over giving a bounce. Big red gums. Her ponytail flick it back forth in my pint. So then there’s some kind of talking going. She and me. I’ve drunk up that. Stinking still she smoking silk cut red, look at them so small. I do not know smoking ins and outs. But good for giving Marilyn Monroe face. Puss. Droop her eyes down. Look all. That. In my mouth and in my hair. Saying her family and crazy Dad’s a famous writer I haven’t heard but then but then. Groggeldy when they lived in Sweden fighting over opera seats and drinking schnapps. I fresh bewildered, ripple thrill of it people who. Oh God. Oh God. That’s it. And her mother’s orange hair and black lace skirt she wears when she talks on the television. So boring she says. Always going on about her family in public because she is Therapist. We’re nearly in America with that. Like Hollywood and I am gob impressed. And me? Nothing really. No my family’s just the. You know. Like everyone else apart from you. And we’ll drink another and brain go down til seeya tomorrow. Alright then. I will.
    I take the bus home reeling over me. That’s a feeling. Frighten brilliant new. I am just head on the pillow when she phone. The bring bring. It’s half past nine. I’ll sleep but landlady whack. You. You. Your mother’s on the phone. She’s been calling half the night don’t let me say it again. Sorry.
    Hello love and how are you? I’ve been calling half the night. Just wanted to know how you got on? And are you settled in and is your room damp is it fine have you managed to find your way and is the church nearby? Yes Mammy. Don’t forget to say your prayers. For Jesus loves you here or there. I’m fine Mammy. I am fine and you are are you well? Is that the right words I am using? I feel big and vast and my head’s buzzing all round my voice. And every stuff. Hmm everything strange. You sound a little. Are you drunk? she says. I’m. Are you? I’m. Holy God you are. Have you no. Have you no shame? No more than a week gone and already come to this. You listen here young lady. This is not how I reared you to live. I want you to promise. Promise this’ll be an end to that. You know drinking’s the devil’s work. Now stop it. Promise. Say you will. You will. I trusted you. I’m saying Mammy I will. Never thought you’d carry on like this. Oh crying. Mammy Mammy Mammy. Don’t be crying. I only had a few. I won’t then. I won’t then again. Promise me. I do. I do promise I won’t. I’m sorry Mammy. Now don’t. Cry plunging sickness waves of home. Go on my drunk brain encircled feeling my own badness sticking in. Oh how I’ll be sorry again. So breathe now. Ha. Ah. I do. I’m done and down. I won’t. I promise.

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