A Desirable Husband by Frances Vernon Page A

frightened of them in a way, just as Gerard is of his – was of Hugh. I’m frightened of them – of their finding out too much about me, of their criticising me which Anatole’s never done even for a moment and that makes it worse, and Alice only when I was little, and I can’t tell you how much that upset me. I can see all the criticism underneath, I – you must think it’s idiotic to be scared of them. Laughable.’ Darcy would certainly find it laughable;Gerard was too good and too serious to laugh at other people.
    â€˜No,’ said Mr Lowell. ‘No, I think I understand. As parents, people are very different from what they seem to be to others, after all.’ He paused. ‘I hope you’ll forgive me for saying this, Mrs Parnell, but I really think you would not be better off down in Dorset, either of you. Something like moving house, you know, just can’t work miracles. It’s a hell of a lot of work, that’s all.’
    Finola opened her mouth to explain more and to imply politely that he was insensitive, and had not been listening properly. She knew that he had been.
    â€˜You must make up your mind,’ said Mr Lowell. ‘Don’t be vague. Think what you really want, and you’ll get it if you try. Do you really want to go and live in Dorset? Does your mother-in-law matter so much?’
    When she looked at him she could see that he did not disapprove of her as he ought to, and his words seemed to imply that she was a strong person. It occurred to her that others thought she was a dear, sweet, rather muddled thing, though with good principles and some common sense, and a certain streak of obstinacy. She was accustomed to sympathy, and Mr Lowell showed none. ‘You must be thinking, she said, ‘that I’m very – unhappy, but I’m not. I’m especially not unhappy in my marriage. You must forgive me for having talked like that.’
    â€˜Anyone who has ever seen you with your husband can see that you must love each other very much.’
    â€˜Oh!’ said Finola.
    â€˜Are you embarrassed? I’m not.’
    â€˜You have no need to be!’ she replied, though she knew that most men would have been so, at saying something so improper. ‘You’re – you’re – oh, dear, I hope I don’t see you again, it’ll be so awkward!’
    â€˜I hope I do see you and I expect I will – through Alice, or Darcy,’ said Mr Lowell.
    â€˜But you won’t remind me of what I’ve been saying?’
    â€˜I promise you I won’t, Mrs Parnell.’
    â€˜Tell me about yourself,’ said Finola then, pulling at her hair.
    â€˜I live in Pimlico, I sometimes review books for different papers, and I’m rather anxious about whether or not I’m going to be made an under-secretary next month,’ he said. He did not really expect such a promotion, but it sounded well.
    She smiled. ‘Yes, but tell me something indiscreet. Not if you don’t want to!’ she added.
    Mr Lowell was sure that Finola had taken in his remarks about whether she did indeed want to go and live in Dorset, and he thought she might try to follow his advice. He could not picture her in the rich and formal house he had heard about from Alice, nor could he see her changing the place, and he felt sorry for her. Her husband would undoubtedly ease out his mother and take Finola to live there, and she would not be happy. When he had met Gerard, Mr Lowell had thought him a quiet, upright and very determined man; a husband on whom Finola clearly leant in a way he found touching, but dull.

CHAPTER 8
STRENGTH OF CHARACTER
    Finola and Gerard were in bed at Egerton Gardens, lying in each other’s arms as they usually lay, until they rolled apart in their sleep. They were proud of being affectionate people.
    Finola was awake, though her husband was not, and just as she was beginning to doze, she was disturbed by a