are exactly our type. There is absolutely no relationship between good looks and sexual performance . Most clients find this out sooner or later and go with what is available in the street, even if the packaging is less than perfect.
The model scene presents a set of different problems. Almost always, clients are happily or unhappily surprised by the real models compared to the way they imagined them during the phone interview.
What usually happens when a client is not particularly impressed with the model (but also not entirely disappointed) is that he goes with the flow. The model is already at the client's home, or the latter has already spent time driving and parking on an in call. The client might as well go on with it! Again, given a chance, the frog may turn out to be a prince of a model. Only rarely do models abort the mission. They do not want to lose their time investment. Street hustlers get rid of clients they do not like much more often—provided, of course, that they are not desperate.
It is ironic that hustlers and models who would be ignored in bars and shunned in sex clubs can charge for what they cannot give away for free!
Chapter 7
Taking Control of Your Sex Life
Attempting to control hustlers or models is as practical as trying to use mercury for sculpting. Hustlers and models are all about not being controlled by anyone—all too often, not even by themselves. If you must control another person, a lover is a much better prospect. When you hire hustlers, you pay for their services, not for running their lives. Their services will help you control your own sexual life!
Hiring hustlers has never been considered an acceptable alternative to endless and frequently futile cruising. I think there are two reasons for this. First, to our great detriment, we gays draw comparisons between our sexual relationships and those of heterosexuals. We compare hustlers to female prostitutes. I have already written enough about this subject. Second, hiring hustlers destroys the romantic illusion we indulge in when cruising.
I have gone to gay bathhouses a thousand times or more. Half my experiences there were dismal. Either I did not score at all, or got it on with men I did not care for (who did not care for me either) just so I could finally escape from the baths and get on with my real life. Some forty-five percent of my baths forays have ranged from mediocre to somewhat adequate. The remaining five percent have been incredibly fulfilling experiences on many levels!
Examples of the five percent: I met my first lover at the baths. Some thirty years ago, at a San Francisco bathhouse, I got it on with a guy from Mexico City, and we are still close friends. The most lucrative summer job I have ever held I obtained through a man I met at the baths. The best sex I have ever had in my entire life was at a gay bathhouse in Vancouver, British Columbia, with a visitor from Seattle. It is, of course, for these five percent that I went (still go, sometimes) to the baths.
I gave all of these examples, because even though I think that bathhouses are hostile cruising grounds, and that they drain time, energy, and money, it is possible to have romantic and social encounters there. The same generalizations hold true for bars. In contrast, using the services of hustlers, by definition, negates a romantic relationship. Every time we go cruising most of us hope and pray that we would find more than casual sex—even though we know that this is unlikely. Every time we make a date with a hustler we affirm to ourselves our lustfulness. We know, beforehand, that he would not become a boyfriend or a lover.
But will the hustler just assuage our desire for raw sex or also our yearning for affection? Already in 1976, C.A. Tripp, in his pioneering work, The Homosexual Matrix , observed that promiscuity—as in cruising—and affection can and do go hand in hand, at least for a large group of cruisers. 1 If you seek affection
The model scene presents a set of different problems. Almost always, clients are happily or unhappily surprised by the real models compared to the way they imagined them during the phone interview.
What usually happens when a client is not particularly impressed with the model (but also not entirely disappointed) is that he goes with the flow. The model is already at the client's home, or the latter has already spent time driving and parking on an in call. The client might as well go on with it! Again, given a chance, the frog may turn out to be a prince of a model. Only rarely do models abort the mission. They do not want to lose their time investment. Street hustlers get rid of clients they do not like much more often—provided, of course, that they are not desperate.
It is ironic that hustlers and models who would be ignored in bars and shunned in sex clubs can charge for what they cannot give away for free!
Chapter 7
Taking Control of Your Sex Life
Attempting to control hustlers or models is as practical as trying to use mercury for sculpting. Hustlers and models are all about not being controlled by anyone—all too often, not even by themselves. If you must control another person, a lover is a much better prospect. When you hire hustlers, you pay for their services, not for running their lives. Their services will help you control your own sexual life!
Hiring hustlers has never been considered an acceptable alternative to endless and frequently futile cruising. I think there are two reasons for this. First, to our great detriment, we gays draw comparisons between our sexual relationships and those of heterosexuals. We compare hustlers to female prostitutes. I have already written enough about this subject. Second, hiring hustlers destroys the romantic illusion we indulge in when cruising.
I have gone to gay bathhouses a thousand times or more. Half my experiences there were dismal. Either I did not score at all, or got it on with men I did not care for (who did not care for me either) just so I could finally escape from the baths and get on with my real life. Some forty-five percent of my baths forays have ranged from mediocre to somewhat adequate. The remaining five percent have been incredibly fulfilling experiences on many levels!
Examples of the five percent: I met my first lover at the baths. Some thirty years ago, at a San Francisco bathhouse, I got it on with a guy from Mexico City, and we are still close friends. The most lucrative summer job I have ever held I obtained through a man I met at the baths. The best sex I have ever had in my entire life was at a gay bathhouse in Vancouver, British Columbia, with a visitor from Seattle. It is, of course, for these five percent that I went (still go, sometimes) to the baths.
I gave all of these examples, because even though I think that bathhouses are hostile cruising grounds, and that they drain time, energy, and money, it is possible to have romantic and social encounters there. The same generalizations hold true for bars. In contrast, using the services of hustlers, by definition, negates a romantic relationship. Every time we go cruising most of us hope and pray that we would find more than casual sex—even though we know that this is unlikely. Every time we make a date with a hustler we affirm to ourselves our lustfulness. We know, beforehand, that he would not become a boyfriend or a lover.
But will the hustler just assuage our desire for raw sex or also our yearning for affection? Already in 1976, C.A. Tripp, in his pioneering work, The Homosexual Matrix , observed that promiscuity—as in cruising—and affection can and do go hand in hand, at least for a large group of cruisers. 1 If you seek affection
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