Majestyâs ladies-in-waiting. An excellent person.â
Perhaps even a week ago Grandmama would have been impressed. Now all she could think of was Maudeâs Persian garden with the small owls in the dusk.
There was a knock on the door and Agnes came in. A brief conversation followed about parties, games to be played, especially blindmanâs bluff, and of course refreshments.
âWe must remember some lemon curd tarts for Mrs. Hethersett,â Agnes reminded her. âShe is always so fond of them.â
âShe will have to make her own,â Bedelia responded. âShe will not be coming.â
âOh, dear! Is she unwell again?â Agnes asked sympathetically.
âShe will not be coming because I have not invited her,â Bedelia said tersely. âShe was unforgivably rude.â
âThat was over a year ago!â Agnes protested.
âIt was,â Bedelia agreed. âWhat has that to do with it?â
Agnes did not argue. She admired the rapidly progressing baubles, and returned to the task of organizing pies and tarts.
âHow very unpleasant,â Grandmama sympathized, wondering what on earth Mrs. Hethersett could have said that Bedelia still bore a grudge a year later, and at Christmas, of all times. âShe must have been dreadfully rude to distress you so much.â She nearly added that she could not understand why people should be rude, but that was too big a lie to swallow. She could understand rudeness perfectly, and practice it to the level of an art. It was something she had never previously been ashamed of, but now it was oddly distasteful to her.
âShe imagines I will forget,â Bedelia responded. âBut she is quite mistaken, as she will learn.â
Grandmama bent to the stitching again, blending the bright colors with less pleasure, and wondered what Maude had done to Bedelia that old memories lingered so long in unforgiveness.
Why had Maude returned now? Was it possible Grandmama was completely mistaken? Had she allowed her bored and lonely imagination to conjure up murder where there was only an unexpected death, and grief that looked like anger? And a proud woman who would not allow another to see that she was bitterly ashamed of having turned away her sister for fear that her behavior was socially inappropriate, and now regretted it so terribly when it was too late? Was Grandmama making a crime out of what was only a tragedy?
Dinner was tense again. As on the first night there was the palpable undercurrent of emotions that perhaps there always is in families: knowledge of weaknesses, indulgences, things said that would have been better forgotten, only there is always someone who will remind.
Aloud they recalled past Christmases, particularly those when Randolph had been a boy, which necessarily excluded Clara. Grandmama studied her face and saw the flicker of hurt in it, and then of annoyance.
The others were enjoying themselves. For once Arthur joined in the laughter and the open affection as Bedelia told a tale of Randolphâs surprise at receiving a set of tin soldiers in perfect replica of Wellingtonâs army at Waterloo. It seemed he had refused to come to the table, even for goose. He was so enraptured he could not put his soldiers down. Bedelia had tried to insist, but Arthur had said it was Christmas, and Randolph should do as he pleased.
Grandmama found herself smiling alsoâuntil she saw the hunger in Zacharyâs eyes, his look at Bedelia, Agnesâs look at him, and remembered that Randolph was the only one among all four of them likely to have a child. He was forty. Clara, strong-willed and ambitious, was a great deal younger. When would they have children? Or might that be another grief waiting in the wings?
She would have liked to have had more children herself; a daughter like Charlotte might have made all the difference, or even like Emily. A lot of work, a lot of frustration and disappointment, but
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