behind my closed eyes. And it is as though Joshua is here with me, doing these things, as though it is
him
making me come like this. And in some sense it is. Always, lately. But it's too hard to think about it now.
I roll over onto my back, gasping, trying to catch my breath.
“You bitch,” Regan whispers, not unhappily.
I glance over at her, and she's grinning, her face glowing. She looks as used as I feel, but we're not done yet. Rosalyn has helped Zayed to undress, and he is climbing onto the bed, leaning against the pillows. And we all descend upon him and his poor, half-hard cock. But we can make him come without a full erection. We are experts, after all.
Regan takes the lead, as she so often does, taking his cock in her mouth. Rosalyn is pinching his dark nipples between her fingers, tugging and rolling them, and I go in and massage his balls with my hand.
We all whisper words of encouragement to him, and after a while Regan and I change places. I pull his cock into my mouth, which is mostly hard now and really rather pretty: all deep golden brown and finely shaped, even beneath thecondom Rosalyn has put on him. I suck hard, moving in a smooth, steady motion. And again it is Joshua's cock in my mouth. And I could almost come.
Yes, come for me, Joshua …
It's really working tonight, luckily for us, and it's not long before Zayed goes rock-hard between my lips, his body stiffening all over, and he comes, all heat and thrusting need, his erection hitting the back of my throat. My eyes watering, I take it, not wanting to disappoint him.
After, we all lie on the bed together while Rosalyn goes to get a warm towel for our exhausted nobleman. And he has been noble tonight, which makes me happy.
Except for a strange sensation of emptiness. Because what I really want is for it to be Joshua Spencer lying here beside me, naked and sated.
I try to shake off the sensation, but it won't go. And I feel… sad. Sad that I can no longer be happy with this life. Sad because I know I could never be happy with Joshua—and he could never be happy with a woman like me.
Which leaves me with what?
Nothing.
I roll onto my side, hiding my face from Zayed and the other girls as they talk softly. I squeeze my eyes shut, willing this feeling to go away.
I want to talk to him, see him.
No.
Yes!
This is hopeless.
“Val, I'd like some wine,” Zayed says to me.
“Of course. I'll be right back.”
I get up, naked, go into the other room to get it, andjust like that I am back on duty. Simply doing my job, as I always do.
The thing is, something is different. Something is missing. Despite my endless ability to climax, despite the postorgasm buzz still moving through my body, I no longer love being here.
My stomach tightens into a hard, grasping knot and a wave of nausea sweeps over me. I find the bottle of wine, grip it in my hand until my fingers hurt.
What the fuck am I going to do now?
Chapter Six
“JOSHUA?”
“Yes, this is Joshua.”
God, his voice! Like cool water sluicing over my skin, making me shiver.
“It's Valentine.”
“Valentine. I thought you were away working.”
“I am. I'm in New York.” I'm lying in bed in my room in Zayed's apartment. It's nearly midnight and everyone else has gone to sleep. I should absolutely not be doing this, calling Joshua when I'm working. When I am basically some other man's property. When my time is paid for. But I can't help myself. “I hope I'm not calling too late.”
“No, not at all. It's still early here. How are you?”
“I'm fine.” I pause. Why do I need to tell him the truth? “Actually, I'm not fine.”
“Tell me what's wrong.”
I can hear the sincerity in his voice, and it makes my pulse flutter as much as the subtle tone of command.
“I just… I needed to talk to you. I know that sounds silly. But I just… did.”
He's quiet a moment. “I like that,” he says, his voice low, flirty. “I'm glad you called. I was disappointed you had to
him
making me come like this. And in some sense it is. Always, lately. But it's too hard to think about it now.
I roll over onto my back, gasping, trying to catch my breath.
“You bitch,” Regan whispers, not unhappily.
I glance over at her, and she's grinning, her face glowing. She looks as used as I feel, but we're not done yet. Rosalyn has helped Zayed to undress, and he is climbing onto the bed, leaning against the pillows. And we all descend upon him and his poor, half-hard cock. But we can make him come without a full erection. We are experts, after all.
Regan takes the lead, as she so often does, taking his cock in her mouth. Rosalyn is pinching his dark nipples between her fingers, tugging and rolling them, and I go in and massage his balls with my hand.
We all whisper words of encouragement to him, and after a while Regan and I change places. I pull his cock into my mouth, which is mostly hard now and really rather pretty: all deep golden brown and finely shaped, even beneath thecondom Rosalyn has put on him. I suck hard, moving in a smooth, steady motion. And again it is Joshua's cock in my mouth. And I could almost come.
Yes, come for me, Joshua …
It's really working tonight, luckily for us, and it's not long before Zayed goes rock-hard between my lips, his body stiffening all over, and he comes, all heat and thrusting need, his erection hitting the back of my throat. My eyes watering, I take it, not wanting to disappoint him.
After, we all lie on the bed together while Rosalyn goes to get a warm towel for our exhausted nobleman. And he has been noble tonight, which makes me happy.
Except for a strange sensation of emptiness. Because what I really want is for it to be Joshua Spencer lying here beside me, naked and sated.
I try to shake off the sensation, but it won't go. And I feel… sad. Sad that I can no longer be happy with this life. Sad because I know I could never be happy with Joshua—and he could never be happy with a woman like me.
Which leaves me with what?
Nothing.
I roll onto my side, hiding my face from Zayed and the other girls as they talk softly. I squeeze my eyes shut, willing this feeling to go away.
I want to talk to him, see him.
No.
Yes!
This is hopeless.
“Val, I'd like some wine,” Zayed says to me.
“Of course. I'll be right back.”
I get up, naked, go into the other room to get it, andjust like that I am back on duty. Simply doing my job, as I always do.
The thing is, something is different. Something is missing. Despite my endless ability to climax, despite the postorgasm buzz still moving through my body, I no longer love being here.
My stomach tightens into a hard, grasping knot and a wave of nausea sweeps over me. I find the bottle of wine, grip it in my hand until my fingers hurt.
What the fuck am I going to do now?
Chapter Six
“JOSHUA?”
“Yes, this is Joshua.”
God, his voice! Like cool water sluicing over my skin, making me shiver.
“It's Valentine.”
“Valentine. I thought you were away working.”
“I am. I'm in New York.” I'm lying in bed in my room in Zayed's apartment. It's nearly midnight and everyone else has gone to sleep. I should absolutely not be doing this, calling Joshua when I'm working. When I am basically some other man's property. When my time is paid for. But I can't help myself. “I hope I'm not calling too late.”
“No, not at all. It's still early here. How are you?”
“I'm fine.” I pause. Why do I need to tell him the truth? “Actually, I'm not fine.”
“Tell me what's wrong.”
I can hear the sincerity in his voice, and it makes my pulse flutter as much as the subtle tone of command.
“I just… I needed to talk to you. I know that sounds silly. But I just… did.”
He's quiet a moment. “I like that,” he says, his voice low, flirty. “I'm glad you called. I was disappointed you had to
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