her, wondering what he’d
seen to make him change, and my heart froze as a lump of acid formed in my
throat. Ellie had a large crimson stain on her jeans.
‘Get her in the car immediately, Sir. I’ll get
you there fast,’ James urged. I swallowed hard as I forced my suddenly shaking
legs forward. She’d lied to me. She was bleeding earlier and she’d tried
to pass it off as nothing to protect me. God, she was so fucking stubborn and
brave, thinking of me and my fears instead of letting me be there for her. I
lay her on the backseat and ran around to the other side, getting in and
lifting her head into my lap as James shut the doors.
‘When we get to heaven, I may just kill you
again for lying to me and saying everything was fine, Ellie,’ I quietly
scolded. Her eyes fluttered open and filled with tears.
‘I’m really bleeding, aren’t I?’ she whispered.
‘It’s nothing,’ I replied, stroking her hair. I
flicked my eyes down to see the stain was spreading. ‘Just spotting.’
‘Now who’s lying?’
‘Extenuating circumstances, my wife needs to
stay calm for the sake of our daughter.’
‘I’m sorry,’ she choked, reaching for one of my
hands and squeezing it tightly.
‘For what?’
‘I wanted this to be easy for you, you deserve
easy after everything you’ve …’ she broke off as tears streamed down her face.
‘I don’t deserve to have you, Oliver, or Jonas,
yet I have you all. And I’m going to have a daughter, too, who’s going to
arrive safely, because if you haven’t noticed, James is driving like a bat out
of hell to get you to the hospital in record time. They’ll make sure you’re ok,
both of you, because I’m not losing anyone else, you hear me, Ellie? I am not losing you or my daughter, so you hang in there for me, ok?’
‘I’m trying,’ she nodded, her face looking an
awful lot paler than it had when I found her in the bathroom earlier. ‘But I
feel … really sleepy.’
‘Talk to me, tell me all about Oliver’s birth
again, what I missed. Just keep talking to me, Ellie,’ I pleaded, squeezing her
clammy hand even tighter.
‘If it’s bad, if it’s really bad … and you have
to choose …’
‘Ellie,’ I warned. I didn’t like where this
conversation was going or the fact that she seemed to be having trouble keeping
her eyes open.
‘Listen to me. If you … if you have to choose,
our … daughter’s … more important.’
‘Ellie, for fuck's sake, I’m not choosing,
you’re going to be fine. You have to be fine, do you hear me?’ Her
breathing was suddenly becoming more shallow, her eyes had closed, and her grip
on my hand was weakening.
‘I … love you … Dan,’ she whispered, so quietly
I barely heard her.
‘Ellie Baxter,’ I barked. ‘Don’t you dare pass
out on me. Don’t you dare fucking leave me.’ I choked back some tears as
I heard James on the hands-free system, warning the hospital to have an
emergency team waiting to meet us. Ellie’s hand had gone limp, her head had
rolled to the side against my stomach, and when I looked down, I was nearly
sick. Her jeans were absolutely soaked with blood, I couldn’t remember ever
seeing so much. ‘Not again,’ I cried, anguish filling my voice. ‘Please. Not
Ellie.’
‘We’re seconds away, Sir,’ came James’s voice,
but it sounded like he was miles away.
I wanted to be miles away.
I wanted to be back at the waterfall, with
Ellie asleep in my arms as the sun beat down on us. To feel the contours of her
body against mine, her warm breath on my chest. I wanted to see her green eyes
again, to hear her laugh, to see her smile. Suddenly part of me wanted to be
back on the island, seeing that email coming in, asking for a four week stay
over Christmas. If I was back there, knowing what I knew now, I’d reject that
booking in a heartbeat if it meant not meeting me didn’t lead her here. I’d
give up all the happiness I’d ever known just to protect her.
‘No,’ I yelled,
seen to make him change, and my heart froze as a lump of acid formed in my
throat. Ellie had a large crimson stain on her jeans.
‘Get her in the car immediately, Sir. I’ll get
you there fast,’ James urged. I swallowed hard as I forced my suddenly shaking
legs forward. She’d lied to me. She was bleeding earlier and she’d tried
to pass it off as nothing to protect me. God, she was so fucking stubborn and
brave, thinking of me and my fears instead of letting me be there for her. I
lay her on the backseat and ran around to the other side, getting in and
lifting her head into my lap as James shut the doors.
‘When we get to heaven, I may just kill you
again for lying to me and saying everything was fine, Ellie,’ I quietly
scolded. Her eyes fluttered open and filled with tears.
‘I’m really bleeding, aren’t I?’ she whispered.
‘It’s nothing,’ I replied, stroking her hair. I
flicked my eyes down to see the stain was spreading. ‘Just spotting.’
‘Now who’s lying?’
‘Extenuating circumstances, my wife needs to
stay calm for the sake of our daughter.’
‘I’m sorry,’ she choked, reaching for one of my
hands and squeezing it tightly.
‘For what?’
‘I wanted this to be easy for you, you deserve
easy after everything you’ve …’ she broke off as tears streamed down her face.
‘I don’t deserve to have you, Oliver, or Jonas,
yet I have you all. And I’m going to have a daughter, too, who’s going to
arrive safely, because if you haven’t noticed, James is driving like a bat out
of hell to get you to the hospital in record time. They’ll make sure you’re ok,
both of you, because I’m not losing anyone else, you hear me, Ellie? I am not losing you or my daughter, so you hang in there for me, ok?’
‘I’m trying,’ she nodded, her face looking an
awful lot paler than it had when I found her in the bathroom earlier. ‘But I
feel … really sleepy.’
‘Talk to me, tell me all about Oliver’s birth
again, what I missed. Just keep talking to me, Ellie,’ I pleaded, squeezing her
clammy hand even tighter.
‘If it’s bad, if it’s really bad … and you have
to choose …’
‘Ellie,’ I warned. I didn’t like where this
conversation was going or the fact that she seemed to be having trouble keeping
her eyes open.
‘Listen to me. If you … if you have to choose,
our … daughter’s … more important.’
‘Ellie, for fuck's sake, I’m not choosing,
you’re going to be fine. You have to be fine, do you hear me?’ Her
breathing was suddenly becoming more shallow, her eyes had closed, and her grip
on my hand was weakening.
‘I … love you … Dan,’ she whispered, so quietly
I barely heard her.
‘Ellie Baxter,’ I barked. ‘Don’t you dare pass
out on me. Don’t you dare fucking leave me.’ I choked back some tears as
I heard James on the hands-free system, warning the hospital to have an
emergency team waiting to meet us. Ellie’s hand had gone limp, her head had
rolled to the side against my stomach, and when I looked down, I was nearly
sick. Her jeans were absolutely soaked with blood, I couldn’t remember ever
seeing so much. ‘Not again,’ I cried, anguish filling my voice. ‘Please. Not
Ellie.’
‘We’re seconds away, Sir,’ came James’s voice,
but it sounded like he was miles away.
I wanted to be miles away.
I wanted to be back at the waterfall, with
Ellie asleep in my arms as the sun beat down on us. To feel the contours of her
body against mine, her warm breath on my chest. I wanted to see her green eyes
again, to hear her laugh, to see her smile. Suddenly part of me wanted to be
back on the island, seeing that email coming in, asking for a four week stay
over Christmas. If I was back there, knowing what I knew now, I’d reject that
booking in a heartbeat if it meant not meeting me didn’t lead her here. I’d
give up all the happiness I’d ever known just to protect her.
‘No,’ I yelled,
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