watch as her tank rides up exposing the skin at her waist for a moment before her graceful fingers tug it back into place. Her face lights up at something the guide says and a pang of jealousy hits me. She’s the most beautiful creature. I don’t particularly care for other men witnessing her stunning smile. It’s selfish but I want those smiles she gives for myself. He tugs the rope, checking it before telling us that we’re all set. Her green eyes capture mine, gleaming with excitement.
“Ready?” I ask and her head bounces her nod yes.
She reaches up and grabs hold of the first craggy handhold propelling herself upwards. The sinew of her arms holding her as she finds her footing. She’s hesitant and slow the first few feet but soon works herself into a comfortable pattern. Hand, footing, hand, pull. I keep her pace left of her.
“Colin, I can't find a footing.” She glances down the twenty feet that we’ve climbed and looks a little squeamish.
“Don’t look down now, we only have five more feet to the top. Can you move your left foot up and to the left? There’s a footing there you should be able to reach.”
I watch as she tries to move in the direction I’ve told her but her leg falls just short of reaching.
“I can’t reach.” She huffs.
“Move your hands left. You can hold on while you push off the right footing to catch the left one.”
“It’s too far.”
“It’s not.”
“It is.”
“Elle.”
“You’re annoying.” She grumbles. She angles her body at a slant and swings her body left. Her foot lands just where it should then slips. Fear flashes in her eyes and she scrambles to right herself. When she finally does I hear her blow out a breath.
“Fine, you were right.” She admits. We finish the climb together. Twenty five feet up to the top and she made it. I let her ring the bell at the top.
“Now for the fun part.” I chuckle as we both lean back into our sit bones and start to repel down the wall. By the time we reach the bottom she’s wearing a triumphant face splitting grin that makes me swell with pride for her. She’s so damned adorable. I brush a loose piece of hair from her face before pulling her into my chest. I love the way it feels when her arms wrap around me. I’ve never felt anything so comforting.
***
Exhilaration filled me as we rappelled down the wall. I did it. I climbed twenty five feet up and rang that stupid bell for Jenny. It was a fun experience but I don't anticipate becoming an avid rock climber any time soon. Colin beamed with pride as he gazed at me the entire climb. His encouragement puts me at ease. At the bottom of the wall when Colin’s arms wrapped around me something unspoken passed between us. I can’t figure it out. I can’t identify it but it scares me a little. Things have moved too quickly. I’m too dependent on him I think. I’m supposed to be alone.
“Colin,” I stare out the car window, “I think maybe things are moving too fast.”
“Are you talking about us?”
“Yes.” My voice shakes.
“Why?”
“We’ve only known each other a week... we’ve, well you know moved quickly.”
“That’s true but it doesn’t feel wrong to me.”
“It doesn't feel wrong to me either but that’s what scares me. That it’s too effortless. That it’s not sustainable. That the other shoe will drop and when it does you’ll be hurt.”
“Why me?”
“Because. Because I’m married. Because even though I’ve been estranged from him for almost a year he still scares me. I’m supposed to be finding me not losing myself to another relationship.”
“Dammit Elle.” His eyes are dark and his jaws clenched.
“I’m sorry Colin. I just don't think it’s safe to be together, or healthy. It’s all too fast.”
“We can slow down.” He pleads gently.
“I don't know.”
“Elle. I don't care what you say. I’m not giving you up. I don't care how fast and impossible it feels, it’s
“Ready?” I ask and her head bounces her nod yes.
She reaches up and grabs hold of the first craggy handhold propelling herself upwards. The sinew of her arms holding her as she finds her footing. She’s hesitant and slow the first few feet but soon works herself into a comfortable pattern. Hand, footing, hand, pull. I keep her pace left of her.
“Colin, I can't find a footing.” She glances down the twenty feet that we’ve climbed and looks a little squeamish.
“Don’t look down now, we only have five more feet to the top. Can you move your left foot up and to the left? There’s a footing there you should be able to reach.”
I watch as she tries to move in the direction I’ve told her but her leg falls just short of reaching.
“I can’t reach.” She huffs.
“Move your hands left. You can hold on while you push off the right footing to catch the left one.”
“It’s too far.”
“It’s not.”
“It is.”
“Elle.”
“You’re annoying.” She grumbles. She angles her body at a slant and swings her body left. Her foot lands just where it should then slips. Fear flashes in her eyes and she scrambles to right herself. When she finally does I hear her blow out a breath.
“Fine, you were right.” She admits. We finish the climb together. Twenty five feet up to the top and she made it. I let her ring the bell at the top.
“Now for the fun part.” I chuckle as we both lean back into our sit bones and start to repel down the wall. By the time we reach the bottom she’s wearing a triumphant face splitting grin that makes me swell with pride for her. She’s so damned adorable. I brush a loose piece of hair from her face before pulling her into my chest. I love the way it feels when her arms wrap around me. I’ve never felt anything so comforting.
***
Exhilaration filled me as we rappelled down the wall. I did it. I climbed twenty five feet up and rang that stupid bell for Jenny. It was a fun experience but I don't anticipate becoming an avid rock climber any time soon. Colin beamed with pride as he gazed at me the entire climb. His encouragement puts me at ease. At the bottom of the wall when Colin’s arms wrapped around me something unspoken passed between us. I can’t figure it out. I can’t identify it but it scares me a little. Things have moved too quickly. I’m too dependent on him I think. I’m supposed to be alone.
“Colin,” I stare out the car window, “I think maybe things are moving too fast.”
“Are you talking about us?”
“Yes.” My voice shakes.
“Why?”
“We’ve only known each other a week... we’ve, well you know moved quickly.”
“That’s true but it doesn’t feel wrong to me.”
“It doesn't feel wrong to me either but that’s what scares me. That it’s too effortless. That it’s not sustainable. That the other shoe will drop and when it does you’ll be hurt.”
“Why me?”
“Because. Because I’m married. Because even though I’ve been estranged from him for almost a year he still scares me. I’m supposed to be finding me not losing myself to another relationship.”
“Dammit Elle.” His eyes are dark and his jaws clenched.
“I’m sorry Colin. I just don't think it’s safe to be together, or healthy. It’s all too fast.”
“We can slow down.” He pleads gently.
“I don't know.”
“Elle. I don't care what you say. I’m not giving you up. I don't care how fast and impossible it feels, it’s
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