won't happen again,' she said. She winked at Jock behind Mr Smith's back. She always had been a sparky wee girl, he reflected happily, remembering an argument they had had once about the Iraq war. He had agreed with her really, but he had played devil's advocate on that occasion.
'I'll take Mr McLean first,' said Mr Smith. 'We'll keep those two jokers waiting for a while.'
'Excuse me,' said Amaryllis, 'I don't think Mr Wilson and I are happy about being referred to as jokers and being kept waiting. I'm sure there's a law protecting jokers from discrimination anyway. Isn't it covered by the recent Equalities legislation? If not, it should be.'
Mr Smith winced. 'Sergeant Whitefield, please show Ms Peebles and Mr Wilson into the waiting room. See if you can find them a cup of coffee or something. And a couple of copies of Private Eye.'
Christopher and Amaryllis were led away, to cries from Amaryllis of 'Not Private Eye! Anything but that!' Evidently she was in a skittish mood today. Jock had seen this before and it didn't usually bode well for anybody associated with her.
Mr Smith rolled his eyes and took Jock through to an interview room. At least it was clean, Jock noticed, but he didn't think much of the view. You couldn't tell what the weather was doing outside. He kept his coat on in case it got lost somewhere in the police station. You couldn't be too careful in police stations. Someone came into the room behind him. He decided not to bother looking to see who it was. That would be a sign that he lacked confidence. He didn't want Mr Smith thinking he was unsure of himself in any way.
'Now then,' said Mr Smith, leaning on the table. 'I want you to think very carefully before you answer my question.'
'I always think carefully!' said Jock indignantly.
'Yes,' said Mr Smith in a way that, Jock thought, really meant the opposite. 'Do you know where Darren Laidlaw is at this moment?'
'Isn't he in gaol?'
'Think about it a bit more and try again,' said Mr Smith. 'You do know he's on the run again?'
'What? But didn't you lock him up the other day? I brought him in myself. '
'You didn't know he was on the run?'
Mr Smith gazed intently at Jock, almost as if he was attempting to see into Jock's brain and divine his thoughts.
Jock shook his head. 'I haven't spoken to anybody who might have told me.'
'Your friend Amaryllis Peebles was well aware of it when I spoke to her yesterday.'
'I don't have a telepathic connection with Amaryllis, I'm happy to say,' said Jock. He shuddered at the idea. Having a telepathic connection with anyone would be nearly as bad as being on Facebook or Twitter and being bombarded with other people's trivia all day every day. He couldn't understand the way some people felt compelled to share every thought with other people. As far as he was concerned, it was safer not to share anything. Then you knew where you were. It made this situation, for instance, much easier for him. He was accustomed to choosing what to say a long time before he spoke.
'You do know that harbouring a criminal is against the law?'
'Always has been, as far as I know,' said Jock. 'So is locking people up without just cause.'
Mr Smith gazed at Jock again. 'He came to you the last time.'
'I don't know why,' said Jock. 'I'm not his keeper... Anyway, I turned him over to you that time.'
'Yes,' said Mr Smith. Again he sounded as if he didn't believe Jock, although he knew perfectly well it was true. 'So you're saying you haven't seen him since then?'
'You know what I'm saying,' said Jock. 'It seems perfectly clear to me.'
'Can we search your house?'
'Can you get a warrant?'
'Hmm,' said Mr Smith. 'I'd better go and have a word with those friends of yours. Wait here.'
Nothing happened for an hour or so. Jock didn't mind sitting there deep in thought for that length of time. At his age he had plenty of things stored in his brain to bring out, dust down and give an airing to in these spare moments. The other person in the
'I'll take Mr McLean first,' said Mr Smith. 'We'll keep those two jokers waiting for a while.'
'Excuse me,' said Amaryllis, 'I don't think Mr Wilson and I are happy about being referred to as jokers and being kept waiting. I'm sure there's a law protecting jokers from discrimination anyway. Isn't it covered by the recent Equalities legislation? If not, it should be.'
Mr Smith winced. 'Sergeant Whitefield, please show Ms Peebles and Mr Wilson into the waiting room. See if you can find them a cup of coffee or something. And a couple of copies of Private Eye.'
Christopher and Amaryllis were led away, to cries from Amaryllis of 'Not Private Eye! Anything but that!' Evidently she was in a skittish mood today. Jock had seen this before and it didn't usually bode well for anybody associated with her.
Mr Smith rolled his eyes and took Jock through to an interview room. At least it was clean, Jock noticed, but he didn't think much of the view. You couldn't tell what the weather was doing outside. He kept his coat on in case it got lost somewhere in the police station. You couldn't be too careful in police stations. Someone came into the room behind him. He decided not to bother looking to see who it was. That would be a sign that he lacked confidence. He didn't want Mr Smith thinking he was unsure of himself in any way.
'Now then,' said Mr Smith, leaning on the table. 'I want you to think very carefully before you answer my question.'
'I always think carefully!' said Jock indignantly.
'Yes,' said Mr Smith in a way that, Jock thought, really meant the opposite. 'Do you know where Darren Laidlaw is at this moment?'
'Isn't he in gaol?'
'Think about it a bit more and try again,' said Mr Smith. 'You do know he's on the run again?'
'What? But didn't you lock him up the other day? I brought him in myself. '
'You didn't know he was on the run?'
Mr Smith gazed intently at Jock, almost as if he was attempting to see into Jock's brain and divine his thoughts.
Jock shook his head. 'I haven't spoken to anybody who might have told me.'
'Your friend Amaryllis Peebles was well aware of it when I spoke to her yesterday.'
'I don't have a telepathic connection with Amaryllis, I'm happy to say,' said Jock. He shuddered at the idea. Having a telepathic connection with anyone would be nearly as bad as being on Facebook or Twitter and being bombarded with other people's trivia all day every day. He couldn't understand the way some people felt compelled to share every thought with other people. As far as he was concerned, it was safer not to share anything. Then you knew where you were. It made this situation, for instance, much easier for him. He was accustomed to choosing what to say a long time before he spoke.
'You do know that harbouring a criminal is against the law?'
'Always has been, as far as I know,' said Jock. 'So is locking people up without just cause.'
Mr Smith gazed at Jock again. 'He came to you the last time.'
'I don't know why,' said Jock. 'I'm not his keeper... Anyway, I turned him over to you that time.'
'Yes,' said Mr Smith. Again he sounded as if he didn't believe Jock, although he knew perfectly well it was true. 'So you're saying you haven't seen him since then?'
'You know what I'm saying,' said Jock. 'It seems perfectly clear to me.'
'Can we search your house?'
'Can you get a warrant?'
'Hmm,' said Mr Smith. 'I'd better go and have a word with those friends of yours. Wait here.'
Nothing happened for an hour or so. Jock didn't mind sitting there deep in thought for that length of time. At his age he had plenty of things stored in his brain to bring out, dust down and give an airing to in these spare moments. The other person in the
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