10 Things to Do Before I Die by Daniel Ehrenhaft Page A

about trust!”
    Click.
    “Rachel? Rachel?” I can’t believe it. For the first time ever, Rachel has hung up on me. She’s that mad. I stare up at the ceiling. I Watch it rotate slowly, like a giant Whirlpool. I should try to call her back. I should run over there right now. I should, I should … That’s What this day is turning into, my “should” day. But I can’t think about that right now. I have more pressing matters: namely, making sure that Mark gets Joy the hell out of here—and that he makes up With Nikki so We can all leave together. Because in spite of the fact that I feel terrible about Rachel, I’m suddenly filled With excitement.
    I’m about to see Shakes the Clown!
    Unbelievable. But I guess that’s What happens When you’re a sixteen-year-old music geek. That’s What happens When you’re an immature teenager Who Worships a bugged-out band. Even When you’ve just been a jerk to the one person Who doesn’t deserve it, you still fantasize about meeting these demented heroes of yours. Meeting them takes precedence over your own girlfriend.
    Of course I Would never, ever admit this to anyone because it’s too ridiculous and loathsome. But at least I admitted it to myself for once. That’s a start, right?
    I toss the phone on the bed and stumble out to the living room.

Doughnut-Shaped Universe
    Bad news: Nikki has just left the premises. She Wasn’t joking.
    Worse news: Joy has decided to keep dancing, this time on the coffee table.
    I can see scuff marks forming With every stomp and twist of her stiletto heels. She’s helped herself to another bottle from the liquor cabinet, too—What looks like Jack Daniel’s, although she’s moving too fast and I’m too dizzy to tell for sure. She guzzles it straight. Mark crouches below her, snapping pictures With a Polaroid. I didn’t know that he’d brought a camera. And actually … No, it’s not his. I’m sure of this because somebody has rifled through the bureau Where my parents keep their Polaroid. Drawers have been flung open. Old receipts are strewn everywhere.
    “Yo, you got mad pictures up in this place!” Joy shouts at me, Waving a hand at the Walls in time to the music. “This place is crazy!”
    Can’t argue With that one. Nope. This place is crazy.
    Mark Whirls around and snaps a photo of me. I Wince. The flash is blinding. Purple dots swim in front of my eyes. I stagger backward and fall into the couch.
    “Let me take one!” Joy demands, hopping down.
    Mark yanks the picture from the camera and tosses it on the floor, then lunges onto the couch, right on my lap.
    “Oof,” I grunt. “Stop it, Mark. Get off—”
    Snap! There’s another explosion of White light. I rub my Watery eyes, grinning in spite of it all. Wait … am I having fun? I can’t be. It’s impossible. Nikki is seething With rage and Waiting outside for me, Mark called a hooker—a hooker Who seems determined to drain my parents’ entire liquor cabinet— I’ve just been a total jerk and I’m dying of poison … but on the other hand, there’s something fairly silly about all of this.
    “Burger, We got a problem,” Mark says, tumbling off my lap. He grabs the camera back from Joy and snaps one more of her. “I have to hang here until nine because that’s When Joy’s car service is coming to pick her up. So I’ll catch up With you guys at Onyx. Okay?”
    I blink a few times. “Uh—Well, don’t you think Joy can Wait outside?” I smile at her. “I mean, no offense.”
    “None taken,” she says. She crouches by the liquor cabinet, eyeing What’s left.
    “Why should she Wait outside?” Mark asks.
    “Because you should come With me and apologize to Nikki!” I shout.
    “What for?” he says, as unfazed as ever. “I’ll apologize When I get there.”
    “Mark, believe me. I know. You can’t let an apology slip away—”
    “Nikki’s a big girl,” he interrupts. “She’ll be fine. She can take charge for a While. Hey, that reminds me!