happened to me. In any case, I don’t take offense very easily.” She paused. “Except when I get the feeling someone’s deliberately avoiding me.” Even in the dark, she could see his eyes dart to hers. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”
One side of his mouth ticked up. “It wasn’t personal.”
“The hell you say.”
At least he laughed before he sighed. “I guess I felt a little blindsided. Since I didn’t know you were coming.”
“You’re kidding. I assumed Val told you.”
He shook his head. “Although I did wonder why dinner had been moved here.”
“She said she has too many stairs. But I don’t understand. What was there to be blindsided about?”
Zach reached up to fiddle with his glasses, then leaned forward, his hands clasped together. “Like I said, it wasn’t you. It’s just...well. I probably said more than I should have. Earlier, I mean. At lunch?”
Honestly, what was it with men being so damned afraid of coming across as vulnerable? As human , for heaven’s sake? “Please don’t tell me you were embarrassed.”
“Not embarrassed as much as...unnerved.”
No surprise there. “Because?”
“I’m not much of a sharer. Not generally, anyway.”
She smiled. “Not even with your wife?”
A beat or two preceded, “The one exception.”
That didn’t surprise her, either. “And somehow that all added up to you deciding to give me a wide berth.”
He pushed out a sound that was half sigh, half laugh. “I guess it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, does it?”
“Not from where I’m sitting, no. Although what it sounded like to me, was that you’ve been carting some of that stuff around inside your head for a long time. It needed to be set free.”
After a moment, he nodded. “You sound like you’ve been there.”
“Takes one to know one,” she said on a breath. “Because expectations are a real pain in the butt.”
“Whose?”
“Does it matter? Our own, other people’s...the result’s the same. We get so caught up in what we think we’re supposed to be, how we’re supposed to act, that we ignore how we are . That what we’re really feeling isn’t valid, you know? Good or bad.”
“Or we don’t want everyone else to worry.”
“Exactly.” The little one stirred, then sat up, blinked at Mallory with a crumpled brow like he couldn’t for the life of him figure out who she was or how he’d gotten there, then reached for his daddy, his lower lip quivering. Chuckling, Zach stood and hiked his son into his arms, his protectiveness so potent it practically bounced off the small room’s walls. “It’s also one of the few things we feel we have control over,” Mallory said, folding her arms over the sudden chill left in the child’s wake.
Molding the little cutie to his chest and cupping his head, Zach looked at her for a long moment. “Is control such a bad thing?”
She wasn’t sure if the question was rhetorical or not, but she answered anyway. “It is if it keeps us from living a genuine life. Don’t you think? Especially if it’s only another word for fear —”
“Dad? Where are you?”
“Be there in a sec,” Zach yelled back to Jeremy, then frowned at Mallory for another couple of seconds before finally saying, “You up for a little ride tomorrow morning?”
She actually jerked. “With you?”
“Yes, with me. I’ve got an appointment someplace I think you might be interested in seeing.”
“Where?”
“Like I’d give you a chance to say no?”
“That sounds ominous.”
“Guess you’ll just have to trust me, won’t you?”
There was something almost playful in his voice. Something warm and kind and...and challenging. A far different sort of challenge to the ones she was used to facing, she suspected, although no less scary in its own way. But yes, she trusted him. Even if she wasn’t sure she trusted herself.
“What time will you pick me up?” she said, and he grinned.
* * *
Zach wasn’t entirely sure
One side of his mouth ticked up. “It wasn’t personal.”
“The hell you say.”
At least he laughed before he sighed. “I guess I felt a little blindsided. Since I didn’t know you were coming.”
“You’re kidding. I assumed Val told you.”
He shook his head. “Although I did wonder why dinner had been moved here.”
“She said she has too many stairs. But I don’t understand. What was there to be blindsided about?”
Zach reached up to fiddle with his glasses, then leaned forward, his hands clasped together. “Like I said, it wasn’t you. It’s just...well. I probably said more than I should have. Earlier, I mean. At lunch?”
Honestly, what was it with men being so damned afraid of coming across as vulnerable? As human , for heaven’s sake? “Please don’t tell me you were embarrassed.”
“Not embarrassed as much as...unnerved.”
No surprise there. “Because?”
“I’m not much of a sharer. Not generally, anyway.”
She smiled. “Not even with your wife?”
A beat or two preceded, “The one exception.”
That didn’t surprise her, either. “And somehow that all added up to you deciding to give me a wide berth.”
He pushed out a sound that was half sigh, half laugh. “I guess it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, does it?”
“Not from where I’m sitting, no. Although what it sounded like to me, was that you’ve been carting some of that stuff around inside your head for a long time. It needed to be set free.”
After a moment, he nodded. “You sound like you’ve been there.”
“Takes one to know one,” she said on a breath. “Because expectations are a real pain in the butt.”
“Whose?”
“Does it matter? Our own, other people’s...the result’s the same. We get so caught up in what we think we’re supposed to be, how we’re supposed to act, that we ignore how we are . That what we’re really feeling isn’t valid, you know? Good or bad.”
“Or we don’t want everyone else to worry.”
“Exactly.” The little one stirred, then sat up, blinked at Mallory with a crumpled brow like he couldn’t for the life of him figure out who she was or how he’d gotten there, then reached for his daddy, his lower lip quivering. Chuckling, Zach stood and hiked his son into his arms, his protectiveness so potent it practically bounced off the small room’s walls. “It’s also one of the few things we feel we have control over,” Mallory said, folding her arms over the sudden chill left in the child’s wake.
Molding the little cutie to his chest and cupping his head, Zach looked at her for a long moment. “Is control such a bad thing?”
She wasn’t sure if the question was rhetorical or not, but she answered anyway. “It is if it keeps us from living a genuine life. Don’t you think? Especially if it’s only another word for fear —”
“Dad? Where are you?”
“Be there in a sec,” Zach yelled back to Jeremy, then frowned at Mallory for another couple of seconds before finally saying, “You up for a little ride tomorrow morning?”
She actually jerked. “With you?”
“Yes, with me. I’ve got an appointment someplace I think you might be interested in seeing.”
“Where?”
“Like I’d give you a chance to say no?”
“That sounds ominous.”
“Guess you’ll just have to trust me, won’t you?”
There was something almost playful in his voice. Something warm and kind and...and challenging. A far different sort of challenge to the ones she was used to facing, she suspected, although no less scary in its own way. But yes, she trusted him. Even if she wasn’t sure she trusted herself.
“What time will you pick me up?” she said, and he grinned.
* * *
Zach wasn’t entirely sure
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